I have been talking and thinking about first life class or caste systems and how they don't really apply in Second Life. Unless you tell someone, Nobody knows your race, religion, gender, health, income and age in Second Life.
Everyone arrives in Second Life the same way. People who have a mediocre first life can have a flamboyant Second Life. One could have several alternate Avatars and experience different aspects of life that are impossible in their first life.
It is up to you to be the person you want to be. I know of several people who have confessed to having a lonely and uneventful first life but are very popular and respected in Second Life. Some people develop their artistic talents or learn to build in Second Life. Others learn to socialize.
I have female friends in Second Life that are male in their first life. It has been a wonderful learning experience for them. Everyone of the has confessed to me that they had know idea what dicks guys could be. They have become more sensitive to the needs and feeling of women in there first life.
On the other hand, women who come to Second Life have total freedom here. We can look however we choose, We can dance, party, take lovers, create drama and walk away if we want. We can build, teach, own business and own property. As long as you never give out any first life information, it is totally safe environment. I have explored places and had experiences I would dream of in my first life.
The real point of all this is that when you come to Second Life you are accepted as a fellow avatar and it us up to you to become what you want to be. There are hundreds of free classes you can take. Most people in Second Life will try to be helpful if you politely ask questions. Remember, nobody knows who you are in you first life so you have no reason to be embarrassed to ask any question you want.
Go have fun, explore, learn and be somebody.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Saturday, September 8, 2007
RL and SL
Well, I have been a away from my blog too long. I think about writing very often. I just haven't had the time lately. My creator seems to think the Real Life should have a higher priority than Second Life. I disagree, but then I don't exist in Real Life so I am a bit biased.
My life has had some changes. The economy has effected my income. Tips are down, escorting has dropped off, I am spending more time Lillith and less time working. This isn't a complaint. It is just how things are for now. I just have to be more budget conscious.
Lillith and I are still crazy in love with each other. When she is online I just want to be with her. I figure I can work when she isn't on line. Sometimes just laying in her arms and talking is heaven to me. Sometimes we make love until we fall asleep together. It has been 3 months since we met. I can no longer remember or imagine my life with out her in it.
We have added a beloved friend to our little family. She has the most wonderful name of Starlite Infinity. How we met is a wonderful story of SL serendipity. I was laying on the rug in Lillith's and my bedroom watching the slide show Lillith made us. My multigadget radar popped up Starlite Infinity's name being in the area. I was so intrigued by the name, I used camera mode to check out who she was. She was in chat range standing across the street so I said "Hello". She was looking at renting the tree house across the street. I could tell she was a newbie. I told her about Twilight and gave her a landmark. We chatted a bit then said goodnight and poof she was gone. I later found out she had rented the apartment next to me in Twilight. We started chatting more and became friends. She later moved to new place, I visited her there and she visited Lillith's and my home. As our friendship grew closer I introduced her to Lillith and we have all become very close friends. I look forward to when Supersub and Starlite can meet and hang out with Lillith and me.
There have been some wonderful changes in Twilight. The populations has grown, Brenda and Lazlo have built more apartments. Lazlo is building a magnificent Art Museum and Gallery. I guess I sort of inspired it. My friend Kerry sent a notice about her art show. I went to see her work. When I saw her photographs, I knew Lazlo would like them so I sent him a teleport. When came to the show he bought several her works. While he was looking at the other artists there, he decided to build an art museum. Well he did and it is beautiful. It is right next to the Cathedral that Lillith and I are going to be married in. If you haven't been to Twilight yet. you should go there.
All in all, Second Life has been good. I hope to see you there sometime.
My life has had some changes. The economy has effected my income. Tips are down, escorting has dropped off, I am spending more time Lillith and less time working. This isn't a complaint. It is just how things are for now. I just have to be more budget conscious.
Lillith and I are still crazy in love with each other. When she is online I just want to be with her. I figure I can work when she isn't on line. Sometimes just laying in her arms and talking is heaven to me. Sometimes we make love until we fall asleep together. It has been 3 months since we met. I can no longer remember or imagine my life with out her in it.
We have added a beloved friend to our little family. She has the most wonderful name of Starlite Infinity. How we met is a wonderful story of SL serendipity. I was laying on the rug in Lillith's and my bedroom watching the slide show Lillith made us. My multigadget radar popped up Starlite Infinity's name being in the area. I was so intrigued by the name, I used camera mode to check out who she was. She was in chat range standing across the street so I said "Hello". She was looking at renting the tree house across the street. I could tell she was a newbie. I told her about Twilight and gave her a landmark. We chatted a bit then said goodnight and poof she was gone. I later found out she had rented the apartment next to me in Twilight. We started chatting more and became friends. She later moved to new place, I visited her there and she visited Lillith's and my home. As our friendship grew closer I introduced her to Lillith and we have all become very close friends. I look forward to when Supersub and Starlite can meet and hang out with Lillith and me.
There have been some wonderful changes in Twilight. The populations has grown, Brenda and Lazlo have built more apartments. Lazlo is building a magnificent Art Museum and Gallery. I guess I sort of inspired it. My friend Kerry sent a notice about her art show. I went to see her work. When I saw her photographs, I knew Lazlo would like them so I sent him a teleport. When came to the show he bought several her works. While he was looking at the other artists there, he decided to build an art museum. Well he did and it is beautiful. It is right next to the Cathedral that Lillith and I are going to be married in. If you haven't been to Twilight yet. you should go there.
All in all, Second Life has been good. I hope to see you there sometime.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Relationships, Partnerships and Marriage in SL
Parsing the relationship matrices in Second life can be very confusing and tricky. This virtual world has so many opportunities and variations it is impossible to define a universal moral code. There are so many reasons why people are in in-world, which may effect their relationships in both realms.
I am only talking about intimate relations in this posts. I will discuss the wonderful deep friendships in SL at a later time.
Those who are mirrors of their first life are bound by what ever moral code they bring from their first life. If they are in a First Life relationship then they might feel a second life sexual encounter is cheating. If they are true to their values it will be avoided. Unfortunately for them, Second Life doesn't work that way. SL is serendipitous and mischievous in it's nature. If you don't want a romance in Second Life it will create one for you anyway. As I have mentioned in previous posts, something seems to able to reach through cyberspace and touch hearts. I fear the purist of these relationships are doomed to misery. If they never fulfill their Second Life desires SL will become too frustrating for them to keep coming to and if they do give in to their desires, the guilt will drive them apart eventually.
In contrast to the previous type there are the total porn crazy pleasure seekers. Mostly men often with female avatars. They are here for the sole purposes of acting out every sexual fantasy the have imagined. Strangely enough I have very little contact with them since the aren't about to pay for sex. They often end up having very wild times with those of their own kind. It is all visual for them so it doesn't really matter who is behind the Avatar as long as they are getting their rocks off.
The ones like me, completely free of First Life ties, have a different set of problems. I wasn't look for a long term relationship. (Galen smiles as she looks at her beautiful engagement ring and thinks of Lillith) It still happened. If you have read my earlier posts you know my profession in Second Life is in the sex trade as a stripper and escort. I can't say it is just about the money either. I really enjoy giving pleasure. This requires a bit more complexity in Lillith's and my ground rules. We both enjoy sex, and unlike guys, we don't wear out very fast. We both have clients to please and sometimes we get carried away with our coworkers. So, it isn't all work. Dancers can get pretty turned on watching each other and escorts will have sex with each other for fun and to sharing techniques. So when is it cheating?
I have heard that cheating is the number one reason people breakup SL I have also heard of First Life marriages collapsing because of SL relationships. That is why it is important to talk about it with your SL partner. Lillith and I have had several talks about our intimacy expectations and how it changes as the relationship grows. I do have my moments of insecurity and I am sure Lillith does too. I measure my actions by whether or not it would hurt Lillith. I love Lillith, she is part of me now which sets her apart from everyone else. We also have SupurSub as a part of our life now and we both love her dearly.
I think out of all this comes responsibility. My actions can have an effect on people I love. It is unthinkable for me to knowingly hurt Lillith or Supersub. I believe what would constitute cheating between Lillith and I would be anything that dilutes or puts at risk the love we share. We don't ask that either one of us stop having sex with others. We have agreed to not have sex with new partners with out the other one present and participating at least the first time. I think this has at least two functions. First it is statement to the new partner that Lillith and I are together and no one comes between us. Second, it makes sure that any new partner in our life is compatible with both of us.
What this comes down to is simple, talk to your partner, be clear about your feelings, let your partner know what your needs and expectations are and listen to theirs. You will find that this can also work in your First Life. It was on my mind so I though I would share it.
I am only talking about intimate relations in this posts. I will discuss the wonderful deep friendships in SL at a later time.
Those who are mirrors of their first life are bound by what ever moral code they bring from their first life. If they are in a First Life relationship then they might feel a second life sexual encounter is cheating. If they are true to their values it will be avoided. Unfortunately for them, Second Life doesn't work that way. SL is serendipitous and mischievous in it's nature. If you don't want a romance in Second Life it will create one for you anyway. As I have mentioned in previous posts, something seems to able to reach through cyberspace and touch hearts. I fear the purist of these relationships are doomed to misery. If they never fulfill their Second Life desires SL will become too frustrating for them to keep coming to and if they do give in to their desires, the guilt will drive them apart eventually.
In contrast to the previous type there are the total porn crazy pleasure seekers. Mostly men often with female avatars. They are here for the sole purposes of acting out every sexual fantasy the have imagined. Strangely enough I have very little contact with them since the aren't about to pay for sex. They often end up having very wild times with those of their own kind. It is all visual for them so it doesn't really matter who is behind the Avatar as long as they are getting their rocks off.
The ones like me, completely free of First Life ties, have a different set of problems. I wasn't look for a long term relationship. (Galen smiles as she looks at her beautiful engagement ring and thinks of Lillith) It still happened. If you have read my earlier posts you know my profession in Second Life is in the sex trade as a stripper and escort. I can't say it is just about the money either. I really enjoy giving pleasure. This requires a bit more complexity in Lillith's and my ground rules. We both enjoy sex, and unlike guys, we don't wear out very fast. We both have clients to please and sometimes we get carried away with our coworkers. So, it isn't all work. Dancers can get pretty turned on watching each other and escorts will have sex with each other for fun and to sharing techniques. So when is it cheating?
I have heard that cheating is the number one reason people breakup SL I have also heard of First Life marriages collapsing because of SL relationships. That is why it is important to talk about it with your SL partner. Lillith and I have had several talks about our intimacy expectations and how it changes as the relationship grows. I do have my moments of insecurity and I am sure Lillith does too. I measure my actions by whether or not it would hurt Lillith. I love Lillith, she is part of me now which sets her apart from everyone else. We also have SupurSub as a part of our life now and we both love her dearly.
I think out of all this comes responsibility. My actions can have an effect on people I love. It is unthinkable for me to knowingly hurt Lillith or Supersub. I believe what would constitute cheating between Lillith and I would be anything that dilutes or puts at risk the love we share. We don't ask that either one of us stop having sex with others. We have agreed to not have sex with new partners with out the other one present and participating at least the first time. I think this has at least two functions. First it is statement to the new partner that Lillith and I are together and no one comes between us. Second, it makes sure that any new partner in our life is compatible with both of us.
What this comes down to is simple, talk to your partner, be clear about your feelings, let your partner know what your needs and expectations are and listen to theirs. You will find that this can also work in your First Life. It was on my mind so I though I would share it.
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