My First Christmas

Christmas in Purrfect Droom

Christmas in Twilight

The holiday season has arrived. My first in Second Life. My little Twilight apartment is has been turned to winter. I must remember to wear my furs when going outside. Brenda andLazlo have built a wonderful skating pond. Christmas Trees and snowmen have popped up every where. Christmas has bloomed.

Cat left me a beautiful Christmas tree for my home in Purrfect Droom.They have also added a skating rink and Christmas cheer all around the drum circle. I missed the last drum circle party. I really enjoy them. As soon as I get my reserves build up again, I will start furnishing my tropical paradise home. I doesn't take long to deplete once reserves when one stops working. So guys and gals who have picked up those notecards of mine send me an IM.

I have been messaging all my dear friends that I have neglected. I really hope to see you all very soon, somehwhere between my creators first life demands and my Second Life jobs. I miss those late night play times. Speaking of which. I think fall and winter is the time for romance in Second Life. As our first life gets dark and cold and drives us inside we look for companionship in Second Life. I am seeing some wonderful romances blossoming in Second Life. It is very uplifting to me. It gives me a sense of hope. You know who you are and it pleases me to see it.

Love, Romance, Sex and Passion in Second Life

OK, boys and girls, Second Life is full of Love and Romance. It seems to be everywhere in Second Life. If you are feeling it and worried about where it might lead, DON'T!!!!!. Take the leap. Every joy, every pleasure is much more wonderful than not doing it and worth any later heart ache. I wouldn't give up one moment of my time with Lillith to lessen the pain I have been feeling since her disappearance. If you find out the person you are falling for is a jerk, it is better to figure it out early and move on than just pining away for someone not worthy of your attention.

Yes, I know! I was cynical about love and marriage in Second Life in the early months of my life. Sex was just business. I was wrong. I was way wrong. I found the love and romance in Second Life as rewarding as First Life. Maybe we we don't have all of our senses in Second Life but the most important sex organ is our brain. We have imagination, the same imagination that takes us to another world when we read a book. I could feel every place Lillith ever touched me. I was warm and cozy in her arms. I really have no memory of my creator hunched over her keyboard in a cold dark room late at night.

We also have our hearts. Not the one that pumps blood but the one that holds and shares our love for each other. What we feel about our partners in Second Life is as real as our First Life. It may not be quite the same but the emotional attachments are there. The dreams we have about each other in our 1st life are real. I really love my friends in Second Life. They are as important to me as my Creators 1st life friends.

If you start to fall in love in Second Life, let it happen. Jump on for a ride of your life. I am not talking about free sex or the ones wanking away while they watch me dance or while I am servicing them. I am talking about pressing close to the one you love as you slow dancing on the beach or in a crowed club until you no longer notice there are people around. I am talking about slow descriptive expressions of passion as your Xcite Reachout is building over and over again to climax. I am talking about falling in love cuddling up in a pose. Lillith and I would sometimes leave our computers on all night so our avies slept or snuggled together while we slept in our First Life. It may seem silly but it is wonderful magic.

Are we going to get hurt? Of course, sometimes we will get hurt. It is just part of Life, first or second, It is part of the risk. It is still better than not experiencing it. Also, don't get nosey about their first life. It doesn't matter it isn't relevant. Discover who he or she is in Second Life. That is who you are falling in love with. If you get hung up on their first life you may miss someone beautiful. If you are struck by Cupid's arrow, LET IT HAPPEN!!!!

Thank you,

I really mean thank you for your friendship, your support, your patience. I may never know what happened to Lillith or she may be back before I am done typing this but so many of you have been there for me, supporting me with your love and generosity, patient with my self centered preoccupation worrying about Lillith.

Lillith used to say we never worry about the sex we had with others because they only had our bodies an not our hearts. It so true, because where ever Lilith is she still has my heart. I will only get it back when she comes back. In the mean time. I do have my life and since Second Life is my only life I had better get busy recovering my depleted reserves and move forward. When Lillith recovers and returns I will still be here taking good care of her heart.

I really want to name all of you who have been so supportive but there are so many of you and I am afraid I might miss one and hurt someones feelings. You know who you are and when I see you in my friends list or logging on and off, or dancing with you at a club, know that I love you and am so grateful to you.

I may be small but I am tough enough to get through this. I think I will move into Purrfect Droom and leave the Lillith and My other house as is for now. I know it is expensive but to let it go feels like I have given up. I want Supersub, Brit and Starlite to feel free to uses it. You are part of our family and I think I am ready to come out and play with you too. I miss you. The apartment is such a good deal in Twilight I will keep it as part of my roots, it is really where I began to find my freedom in Second Life. Unless Kerry wants to rent it and Laz doesn't have another place to rent her. Twilight is a wonderful place to live. Laz and Brenda have wonderful visions for that place. I still like to fly around Twilight late at night to see what has changed.

It may take me a while to build my reserves up enough to furnish my new place. I had saved a lot of Lindens back when times were good for us dancers and escorts. Lillith and I had some great ideas, I will try to carry them out and when she comes back she will be pleased.

I mostly wanted to make the post to let you all know I am OK. I might not be able to say I am fine yet but I am OK, I will make it through this. I am very sorry for causing any of you to worry.

Struggles

It is getting harder to go on Second Life. I miss Lillith so much, every day my heart stops as friends online loads the web page or I look at the Offline IMs in my Email. Has she been online? Has she sent a message to me? I know I have so many wonderful friends that I love dearly on Second Life, but Lillith is my Love. I ache for her even more when I am on line. I see photos on our slide show and her beautiful art work on the walls of our house. I need to hear from her, so bad.

I know you are probably growing tired of hearing about this. I am sorry I can't seem to think about anything else at the moment. I am struggling to keep afloat above the despair. Even if I can't handle being in world right now. I always log on before bed and sit on the couch to visualize cuddling with her and send an offline message of love and support to her.

Today and tomorrow always bring hope. If Lillith's friend who left me a message reads this please tell her I love her and miss her. Please let me know how she is doing via comment of Email.

Friends are a wonderful blessing.

Keeping it together isn't easy but so many wonderful friends in Second Life have helped me so much. Not knowing and missing Lillith so much is very hard on me but somewhere out there, Lillith and her creator have been fighting for her life and are recovering in a hospital. She is in my mind every moment. I am sending my heart and energy to Lillith night and day. I expect any and every moment to see her on line or find an offline Email message.

As I have tried to continue a relative "normal" Second Live, I have discovered how many wonderful friends Lillith an I have in SL, new and old. So many people are sending prayers and positive energy to Lillith and me. They help keep the positive images and feelings going. Lillith will have so many happy new and old friends to greet her when she returns.

Second Life is so amazing. impossible becomes possible here. I am so grateful for all the support you having given us. All our friends at Purrfect Droom, Twilight, Hard Core, Club H&G and especially our family, Supersub, Starlite and Brit. Thank you.

I Need To Be Strong

Well I can't sit around and worry. I need to keep things together until Lillith is back. I have rent to pay and only one income for the time being. I need to get back to work. It is hard when my heart hasn't been in it. That would be unfair to clients. I need to just remember I am doing it for Lillith, so she has a home to come back to. I will work as much I as I can so I can keep our old house and get the new house in Purrfect Droom ready for after our wedding.

I also need to get the wedding organized. After what Lillith is going through, I don't want to wait one moment longer than needed to get married. That will put my heart into working. We just have to get through this. I keep an image of our wedding in my head alse.

I also need you all to go down to Club H&G and vote for me to be the SL Illustrated July Calendar Girl. I don't know how to put an SL landmark in a blog, so, I need you to use the search in SL to find Club H&G, Teleport to it, click on the banner at the top of the SL Illustrated display and vote for July.

I am not giving up. I am back and I am going to make a wonderful home in SL for Lillith and me.

I want to thank all of you who have given me support for my vision of Lillith below. I know I have been derailed a bit. I also want to thank all of you who are voting for me. I hope to see you all soon on Second Life.