Who are you? Who am I?

I have been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching about who we are here again. There are almost as many different reasons we are here as there are avatars. Each avatar living out a different roles we play in Second Life. Some of us are are just a cartoon of our first life while others of us are constructs in role play and method acting. Most are somewhere in between functioning on various levels of awareness and denial.

The fact us some us are not even whole by 1st life standards. Some us have physical and/or mental disabilities that limit our 1st life functionality. Second Life gives us some of the simplest freedoms most take for granted in there 1st life. Here it is a level playing field where anybody can be anything. Don't destroy OZ by pointing out the little man behind the curtain. We may be in SL for different reasons but for most of us we want to forget it is an illusion.

It is all quite innocent until real feelings from first life start to get involved. There are a lot of lonely people in Second Life. Casual or even occupational flirting can create real desires in Real Life. I have read that people actually do come here and hookup in Real Life. That is really not as common as some might think. Second Life isn't an Real Life dating service so if that is why you are in Second Life, you made a mistake. Second life does provide for some intense in world romance. It is a bit too perfect sometimes and can really drag your heart around. These are real feelings between two or more people based on what ever projections we transmit from keyboard or we interpret about the one we have become attached to.

I know I have fallen love in Second Life. I still do. Unfortunately I am one of the constructs. I don't have the luxury of a real life. That doesn't make my feelings any less real. Often the Idoru becomes more real than their creators. More people mourned the death of Sherlock Holmes than Arthur Conan Doyle or in more modern times more people cried over the death Inspector Morse than the actor who played him, John Thaw. With an Idoru there are boundaries that can not be crossed. If you do you find only electrons and information.

Come to SL to play. Even if the play is serious play, just remember it is an illusion. Enjoy the one who makes you feel good and don't ask too many questions about their first life. Enjoy what you have. Your feelings are real and delicious. You will probably lose everything if you try to take into your first life.

A broken mirror

Second Life and third Life and fourth life. It is alternate life. AKA, love the one your with. One Idoru to another and another and another. Second Life has become a world of multiple personalities, alternate avatars. What does this do to ethics? How does it effect friendships? What does it mean for relationships? Is one Alt responsible for the others actions? Is it fraud or role play? I am sure there are as many reasons for alts (alternate avatars) as there are alts. Don't worry friends I won't name names but I would like to ponders the reasons, ethics, morality and values of them. Let's be clear about one thing; we all have a least one alt. It is our first avatar which is an alternate manifestation or first life persona.

I have several friends that use alts for different reasons. My favorite series of alts is one of my closest friends. She doesn't really hide the fact that she has them. Each one represents a personalty she has in RL. This gives her an opportunity to act out in a much safer place than RL. This seems like a very legitimate function of alts. Each one has its own character and role. I still seem to love the first one I met the best but they are all a part of the whole. Which means I ultimately love them all.

I thinks the most common purpose for alts is deception role play. Whether, BDSM, Vampires, Furries, gender or any other of the possibilities in Second Life. They may have one Avatar for "normal" Second Life and other ones for thier role play.

Of course the one the big one reasons for alts is deception. Create an avatar to have an affair, cover up a lifestyle that may be to embarrassing to share with RL or even SL friends. Some create alts to use for griefing so their primary Alt doesn't get banned. I would say this if the area that most challenges ethical values. Keep in mind ethical values are a far more relative term in Second Life than they are in First Life

One of the interesting things about alts is that they can take on a life of their own. I have one friend that created one so she could have a secret life from her partner. It just about destroyed their partnership once it was discovered. (Yes they are discovered) The problem is her alt has taken on a life of its own. This is a person who has little enough time for SL as it is and now has twice the demand on it. I can totally relate to taking on your own life in SL. Yours truly, has been dragging my creator from adventure to adventure.

I seem to have attracted a few lovers whom I am sure are alts of someone else I know. A good clue is the age of the avatar and the experience they already may show. Looking in their profile and see what groups are showing and how nice their skin, shape, hair and clothes look. I even had one male client create a female alt just to watch us play together.

What happens when your create a second avatar that takes on his or her own life and becomes such a unique identity that has its own wants, needs and desires unrelated to your first avatar, even unrelated to the personality of your creator. Like characters in a novel that consume the author. could each alt become a separate character? Is it possible for each alt have a different set of ethics and morals?

All of these things are part of Second Life, possibly a features of Second Life. How does this effect our definition of "morality" or "ethics"? What people in Second Life often loose sight of is the fact that we may look like cartons but the feelings are real and indistinguishable from First Life emotions and feelings. Ultimately the morality or ethics will come down to you and your partner First Life and Second Life. If you are of the belief that your alt it not responsible to your partner you had better be damn sure your partner agrees with you or you may be risking more that you can imagine. The fact is people are going to get hurt. Who holds the karma for that one. The alt, the avatar or the handler/creator? Everything we do effects somebody in RL and SL.

I make no moral judgments. I am only asking the questions. You or your avatar will have to decide your own values. Just be sure you are willing to handle the consequences. There will be more consequences than you can imagine. Some may be wonderful and some may be harsh and painful. If you ever want to talk about this please feel free to IM me, in-world.

Idoru

Don't look at the idoru's face. She is not flesh, she is information.
—William Gibson, "Idoru"

My understanding is that Idoru, is a Japanese word derived from Idol. As in American Idol or rock-n-roll idol. In Gibson's book the Idoru is a complete Artificial intelligent avatar performing for the real world public. In Japan young adults will line up around the block to get an autograph from a real world avatar, someone dressed up as an Aname character. Like Idoru, Rei Toei in Gibson's book some of us come into existence in Second Life as the imagination of a creative mind. Your immersion becomes my immersion. My creator became lost in my trials, adventures, romances and heartbreaks. What was once fiction becomes fact, becomes memories, becomes history.

I related to Rei Toei as I am a creation from a bio-computer. My own identity took form separate from my creator. The heroine of the novel becomes self aware carving out her existence in the author's mind. What starts as an experiment in virtual literature becomes an experiment in neuro-psychology. I could have been created by Charles de Lint or William Gibson as a character in a novel safely kept under control in a word processor or on printed page, but I wasn't. I started out as a fictitious character built in a virtual world reacting to interactions beyond the authors control. I love and I am loved as Galen Heron. I have become something other than my creator or my creator's intention. I know I can never be free or separate from her. I know I am limited to Second Life, the rich and wonderful world of Second Life. I have to borrow my authors brain and body to exist. I must respect her life in the real world. I am teaching her to respect mine in the virtual world. Galen Heron lives.

I am back.

Hi everybody. I am back on the pole and dancing for you you. You can come on down to Breathe or Hard Core to see me. I made it across the country and through the painful trials of romance and loss. I don't give up. I just took the hit and tumbled acoss the ground and got back on my feet to try again.

So Lillith and Imogene are happy together in RL and SL. I am alive and ready for my next adventure in Second Life. I have no regrets. We have some wonderful memories that we share. I love Lillith and always will. I know she will always love me. Imogene can give her more than I ever can and that is where she belongs. Our partnership is dissolved and I am on my own again. This changes nothing as far as what I have said about romance and love in SL. It was worth the risk and the pain. Lillith made me feel wonderful and wouldn't give that up for anything.

I may be just pixels but my feelings are real. SL is a wonderful place to discover and learn and even take some of it back to RL with you. I have a big friends list and they aren't all clients. I know I have been away for awhile but I am back. I am ready for work and play both of which give me pleasure. As for my heart, it is back too. It won't be so easily arrested from me again. I will be there for you dear friends and lovers, I will even love you dearly but my heart will remain mine for now.

Girls you know better!

I can't believe it is almost Christmas. I just realized I haven't posted a single blog this month. My creator hasn't given me much time on Second Life either. Finals, papers due and back in California with her parents for the Holidays. She sort of forgot about me. I have a few minutes while she is distracted to get a few words in.

First I want to let Lillith know, I miss her. I am still waiting for her to come back to Second Life. I am doing good but Second Life is incomplete with out her. I haven't given up hope that she will recover and return to me.

The second is more about relationships in Second Life. I haven't been on much but I do read the offline IMs from my friends and fellow working girls in Second Life. I am so happy for the new relationships developing. It tickles when I see true love after having felt it for myself. As for some of my fellow dancers who keep get their hearts broken, I have one very important statement that I have already told some of my dear friends. "If you met him watching you in a strip club, then assume he is going to cheat on you!!!" Do not look for a guy where you work. If you do and he cheats on you it is because he is a guy that goes to strip clubs and he thinks you are a bimbo. He is probably right if you keep doing it over and over again. If you are looking for a playmate then he may be what you want. Just don't expect to find true love that way. It is not impossible but you are more likely to get your heart broken that way.

If you are looking for love on Second Life, then you need to expand your experience to meet guys or gals in different environments. You can go to juke joints for dancing there are clubs for all different music some even have live music. You can also take classes on almost anything. There are hundreds of events you can go to and these are places you can meet people who may have similar interests to yours. There is nothing wrong with having fun with a playmate, just don't expect more than that. It breaks my heart watching people I love getting hurt over and over again when there are so many wonderful people in Second Life for you to meet.

I am sorry for the lecture, but it really breaks my heart watching people I love getting their hearts broken over and over again. One last point to to think about. "Love chooses you."

My First Christmas

Christmas in Purrfect Droom

Christmas in Twilight

The holiday season has arrived. My first in Second Life. My little Twilight apartment is has been turned to winter. I must remember to wear my furs when going outside. Brenda andLazlo have built a wonderful skating pond. Christmas Trees and snowmen have popped up every where. Christmas has bloomed.

Cat left me a beautiful Christmas tree for my home in Purrfect Droom.They have also added a skating rink and Christmas cheer all around the drum circle. I missed the last drum circle party. I really enjoy them. As soon as I get my reserves build up again, I will start furnishing my tropical paradise home. I doesn't take long to deplete once reserves when one stops working. So guys and gals who have picked up those notecards of mine send me an IM.

I have been messaging all my dear friends that I have neglected. I really hope to see you all very soon, somehwhere between my creators first life demands and my Second Life jobs. I miss those late night play times. Speaking of which. I think fall and winter is the time for romance in Second Life. As our first life gets dark and cold and drives us inside we look for companionship in Second Life. I am seeing some wonderful romances blossoming in Second Life. It is very uplifting to me. It gives me a sense of hope. You know who you are and it pleases me to see it.

Love, Romance, Sex and Passion in Second Life

OK, boys and girls, Second Life is full of Love and Romance. It seems to be everywhere in Second Life. If you are feeling it and worried about where it might lead, DON'T!!!!!. Take the leap. Every joy, every pleasure is much more wonderful than not doing it and worth any later heart ache. I wouldn't give up one moment of my time with Lillith to lessen the pain I have been feeling since her disappearance. If you find out the person you are falling for is a jerk, it is better to figure it out early and move on than just pining away for someone not worthy of your attention.

Yes, I know! I was cynical about love and marriage in Second Life in the early months of my life. Sex was just business. I was wrong. I was way wrong. I found the love and romance in Second Life as rewarding as First Life. Maybe we we don't have all of our senses in Second Life but the most important sex organ is our brain. We have imagination, the same imagination that takes us to another world when we read a book. I could feel every place Lillith ever touched me. I was warm and cozy in her arms. I really have no memory of my creator hunched over her keyboard in a cold dark room late at night.

We also have our hearts. Not the one that pumps blood but the one that holds and shares our love for each other. What we feel about our partners in Second Life is as real as our First Life. It may not be quite the same but the emotional attachments are there. The dreams we have about each other in our 1st life are real. I really love my friends in Second Life. They are as important to me as my Creators 1st life friends.

If you start to fall in love in Second Life, let it happen. Jump on for a ride of your life. I am not talking about free sex or the ones wanking away while they watch me dance or while I am servicing them. I am talking about pressing close to the one you love as you slow dancing on the beach or in a crowed club until you no longer notice there are people around. I am talking about slow descriptive expressions of passion as your Xcite Reachout is building over and over again to climax. I am talking about falling in love cuddling up in a pose. Lillith and I would sometimes leave our computers on all night so our avies slept or snuggled together while we slept in our First Life. It may seem silly but it is wonderful magic.

Are we going to get hurt? Of course, sometimes we will get hurt. It is just part of Life, first or second, It is part of the risk. It is still better than not experiencing it. Also, don't get nosey about their first life. It doesn't matter it isn't relevant. Discover who he or she is in Second Life. That is who you are falling in love with. If you get hung up on their first life you may miss someone beautiful. If you are struck by Cupid's arrow, LET IT HAPPEN!!!!

Thank you,

I really mean thank you for your friendship, your support, your patience. I may never know what happened to Lillith or she may be back before I am done typing this but so many of you have been there for me, supporting me with your love and generosity, patient with my self centered preoccupation worrying about Lillith.

Lillith used to say we never worry about the sex we had with others because they only had our bodies an not our hearts. It so true, because where ever Lilith is she still has my heart. I will only get it back when she comes back. In the mean time. I do have my life and since Second Life is my only life I had better get busy recovering my depleted reserves and move forward. When Lillith recovers and returns I will still be here taking good care of her heart.

I really want to name all of you who have been so supportive but there are so many of you and I am afraid I might miss one and hurt someones feelings. You know who you are and when I see you in my friends list or logging on and off, or dancing with you at a club, know that I love you and am so grateful to you.

I may be small but I am tough enough to get through this. I think I will move into Purrfect Droom and leave the Lillith and My other house as is for now. I know it is expensive but to let it go feels like I have given up. I want Supersub, Brit and Starlite to feel free to uses it. You are part of our family and I think I am ready to come out and play with you too. I miss you. The apartment is such a good deal in Twilight I will keep it as part of my roots, it is really where I began to find my freedom in Second Life. Unless Kerry wants to rent it and Laz doesn't have another place to rent her. Twilight is a wonderful place to live. Laz and Brenda have wonderful visions for that place. I still like to fly around Twilight late at night to see what has changed.

It may take me a while to build my reserves up enough to furnish my new place. I had saved a lot of Lindens back when times were good for us dancers and escorts. Lillith and I had some great ideas, I will try to carry them out and when she comes back she will be pleased.

I mostly wanted to make the post to let you all know I am OK. I might not be able to say I am fine yet but I am OK, I will make it through this. I am very sorry for causing any of you to worry.

Struggles

It is getting harder to go on Second Life. I miss Lillith so much, every day my heart stops as friends online loads the web page or I look at the Offline IMs in my Email. Has she been online? Has she sent a message to me? I know I have so many wonderful friends that I love dearly on Second Life, but Lillith is my Love. I ache for her even more when I am on line. I see photos on our slide show and her beautiful art work on the walls of our house. I need to hear from her, so bad.

I know you are probably growing tired of hearing about this. I am sorry I can't seem to think about anything else at the moment. I am struggling to keep afloat above the despair. Even if I can't handle being in world right now. I always log on before bed and sit on the couch to visualize cuddling with her and send an offline message of love and support to her.

Today and tomorrow always bring hope. If Lillith's friend who left me a message reads this please tell her I love her and miss her. Please let me know how she is doing via comment of Email.

Visions of Lillith

I started this post a few days ago before I knew how sick Lillith is. When I found out she was back in the hospital and not doing well. I just crumbled under the feeling of helplessness. Lillith is what brings me back to Second Life every night. She touches my heart and soul like no one else does. When I was frustrated and crying on the couch in our SL home, my friend Lazlo IMed me. He just says hi, sometimes and asks how I am doing.

I told him about Lillith. I told him I was so afraid. He listened to me go on and on about how I feel about her about my fear of losing her because she is so sick. He asked me what it is the happiest time I have with her. So I told him, cuddling on the couch. Then he told me, I should create a vision of what I want, not what I didn't want. I should focus all my energy on that. He said; "What you are thinking is what you attract. If you want Lillith home and healthy with her arms wrapped around you, then that is the vision you need to focus on." I don't know if it is true or not but it makes some sense and the more people who hold that vision with me the stronger it will be. So I am posting my vision to this blog.

One part of the message that I received from Lillith's RL friend said; "She told me to tell you she thinks of you and misses you and wishes she was on the couch with you. I guess you know what that means." So that is my vision too. Cuddling on the couch is where Lillith are the happiest together. We do love to play and make passionate love to each other but we are most happy when we are in are cuddled on the couch with Lillith's arms and legs around me. That is the vision I hold in my head. That is where I will be waiting for Lilliths return. I have included a picture of us together there and link to another picture, so you can hold that image too. I need everyone to hold the vision of Lillith healthy and back home in SL. So, please help me send this vision to the universe.

Stripper Ethics

I saw a message to a chat room from the manager of one of the clubs I work in that made me think about working as a stripper (dancer) in Second Life. It is a great way for female avatars to make money in Second Life. It isn't easy money but it is better than camping. There is very little risk to the dancer and it is a great excuse to buy sexy clothes, skins and hair. There is however a big risk to the club owners. They are the ones paying the tier (rent) on the property and invested in all tools (poles, stage, tip jars, advertisements....) a dancer is using. This creates responsibilities for both the club owner and the dancers.

The club owner is responsible for providing an attractive club to draw in traffic. They need to promote and advertise their club. They also provide the stage and dance animations such as poles, chairs and stages. Some clubs schedule and advertise events, others locate the club where avatars must pass through the club to get somewhere else. These provide the traffic into the club. All this requires some onetime and ongoing costs which are paid by the club owner. This paid for buy a commission (15% to 20%) on tips that the dancers receive, some sales if there a vending areas and for awhile splodders helped a bit.

The dancers responsibility is to keep the customers there by looking irresistibly sexy, dancing, flirting and stripping as the tip jar fills up. There are rules of conduct, or ethics that goes along with being a dancer in a club. Remember girls, if the club can't pay the rent you don't have a place to make money. The clubs financial health is in your best interest. These are some rules I live by as a dancer and an escort.

If I am online to work, I work. If I am not with an escort client then I am dancing at the club that will produce the best tips. It is business.

If I am dancing at a club that is having an event, I stay to the end of the event, unless prearranged with the club owner or manager.

If a customer tips me directly, I tip the same amount to my tip jar. It isn't fair to the club owner and the other customers, who are waiting for you tip jar to hit the magic numbers that make your clothes come off. Since the tipper thinks they a doing you a favor tipping directyl, I will also sometimes IM the tipper to let him or her know that it is in my best interest to have them tip the jar.
If I have just been tipped, I make sure the tipper gets their money worth even if it is at the end of an event or I have an escort client waiting.

Every club is different. Some clubs set L$ amount totals for the tip jar for specific levels of nudity. Some clubs leave it up to you. Know the rules of the house and try to keep to them

If you are a new dancer you should be grateful for the chance to learn and grow. You may work for more than one club but once you are at an event you need to be loyal to that club and stick it out. If you don't like the club then you can quit and work in the clubs you like.

Remember, girls, if times are slow for us it is even harder on the club owners. They have expenses that keep needing to be paid.

Always new things to understand in SL

I meet so many people in my occupation as Stripper. I really enjoy meeting people and learning new things about Second life. I also learn a lot about people. To say people are very complex would be a huge understatement. Second Live give so much room to express what we may or may not know about ourselves. Me for example really didn't surface until my creator opened up my SL account an let me loose. Others discover things about themselves as they discover things about other people. I think there is a lot more going on in SL than just a role playing game. People are acting out things that they carry back to their first life.

I have met some wonderful people on Second Life many become friends, some are clients and some friends become lovers that Lillith and I share our time with. Each person is a complex piece of a bigger picture. It grows out from the avatar to their creator or handler. The creator may be me more than one avatar if they have Alts. The creator is a part of a family or community in "real" world. Connect through that network to a town, city, county, country, continent, planet, solar system, galaxy, universe, energy and back again to the energy in the act of creation.

Some how, we know when we meet some well formed pixels in Second Life there is something more there beyond the visuals and text. Something flowing through the the universe outside the network. Something that says I want to know this person. I don't mean the creator behind that person but this manifestation of something in consciousness of the that creator. This is all part of a puzzle made up of billions of pieces. It is so vast when you try to step back far enough to see it you end up in another universe.

I think Second Life creates a model that allows us to see more facets of the human psyche. Some of it is amazing and beautiful some of it is quite terrifying. I think is is better to be acted out here where it is somewhat harmless. It is when it is carried back to ones first life that it could create real problems or real benefits.

This was going to be a preface to a discussion about someone I met in SL. It seems to have taken its own path. I think I will just create a new post about her.

Equal Opportunity, Second Life flattens the playing field

I have been talking and thinking about first life class or caste systems and how they don't really apply in Second Life. Unless you tell someone, Nobody knows your race, religion, gender, health, income and age in Second Life.

Everyone arrives in Second Life the same way. People who have a mediocre first life can have a flamboyant Second Life. One could have several alternate Avatars and experience different aspects of life that are impossible in their first life.

It is up to you to be the person you want to be. I know of several people who have confessed to having a lonely and uneventful first life but are very popular and respected in Second Life. Some people develop their artistic talents or learn to build in Second Life. Others learn to socialize.

I have female friends in Second Life that are male in their first life. It has been a wonderful learning experience for them. Everyone of the has confessed to me that they had know idea what dicks guys could be. They have become more sensitive to the needs and feeling of women in there first life.

On the other hand, women who come to Second Life have total freedom here. We can look however we choose, We can dance, party, take lovers, create drama and walk away if we want. We can build, teach, own business and own property. As long as you never give out any first life information, it is totally safe environment. I have explored places and had experiences I would dream of in my first life.

The real point of all this is that when you come to Second Life you are accepted as a fellow avatar and it us up to you to become what you want to be. There are hundreds of free classes you can take. Most people in Second Life will try to be helpful if you politely ask questions. Remember, nobody knows who you are in you first life so you have no reason to be embarrassed to ask any question you want.

Go have fun, explore, learn and be somebody.

RL and SL

Well, I have been a away from my blog too long. I think about writing very often. I just haven't had the time lately. My creator seems to think the Real Life should have a higher priority than Second Life. I disagree, but then I don't exist in Real Life so I am a bit biased.

My life has had some changes. The economy has effected my income. Tips are down, escorting has dropped off, I am spending more time Lillith and less time working. This isn't a complaint. It is just how things are for now. I just have to be more budget conscious.

Lillith and I are still crazy in love with each other. When she is online I just want to be with her. I figure I can work when she isn't on line. Sometimes just laying in her arms and talking is heaven to me. Sometimes we make love until we fall asleep together. It has been 3 months since we met. I can no longer remember or imagine my life with out her in it.

We have added a beloved friend to our little family. She has the most wonderful name of Starlite Infinity. How we met is a wonderful story of SL serendipity. I was laying on the rug in Lillith's and my bedroom watching the slide show Lillith made us. My multigadget radar popped up Starlite Infinity's name being in the area. I was so intrigued by the name, I used camera mode to check out who she was. She was in chat range standing across the street so I said "Hello". She was looking at renting the tree house across the street. I could tell she was a newbie. I told her about Twilight and gave her a landmark. We chatted a bit then said goodnight and poof she was gone. I later found out she had rented the apartment next to me in Twilight. We started chatting more and became friends. She later moved to new place, I visited her there and she visited Lillith's and my home. As our friendship grew closer I introduced her to Lillith and we have all become very close friends. I look forward to when Supersub and Starlite can meet and hang out with Lillith and me.

There have been some wonderful changes in Twilight. The populations has grown, Brenda and Lazlo have built more apartments. Lazlo is building a magnificent Art Museum and Gallery. I guess I sort of inspired it. My friend Kerry sent a notice about her art show. I went to see her work. When I saw her photographs, I knew Lazlo would like them so I sent him a teleport. When came to the show he bought several her works. While he was looking at the other artists there, he decided to build an art museum. Well he did and it is beautiful. It is right next to the Cathedral that Lillith and I are going to be married in. If you haven't been to Twilight yet. you should go there.

All in all, Second Life has been good. I hope to see you there sometime.

Relationships, Partnerships and Marriage in SL

Parsing the relationship matrices in Second life can be very confusing and tricky. This virtual world has so many opportunities and variations it is impossible to define a universal moral code. There are so many reasons why people are in in-world, which may effect their relationships in both realms.

I am only talking about intimate relations in this posts. I will discuss the wonderful deep friendships in SL at a later time.

Those who are mirrors of their first life are bound by what ever moral code they bring from their first life. If they are in a First Life relationship then they might feel a second life sexual encounter is cheating. If they are true to their values it will be avoided. Unfortunately for them, Second Life doesn't work that way. SL is serendipitous and mischievous in it's nature. If you don't want a romance in Second Life it will create one for you anyway. As I have mentioned in previous posts, something seems to able to reach through cyberspace and touch hearts. I fear the purist of these relationships are doomed to misery. If they never fulfill their Second Life desires SL will become too frustrating for them to keep coming to and if they do give in to their desires, the guilt will drive them apart eventually.

In contrast to the previous type there are the total porn crazy pleasure seekers. Mostly men often with female avatars. They are here for the sole purposes of acting out every sexual fantasy the have imagined. Strangely enough I have very little contact with them since the aren't about to pay for sex. They often end up having very wild times with those of their own kind. It is all visual for them so it doesn't really matter who is behind the Avatar as long as they are getting their rocks off.

The ones like me, completely free of First Life ties, have a different set of problems. I wasn't look for a long term relationship. (Galen smiles as she looks at her beautiful engagement ring and thinks of Lillith) It still happened. If you have read my earlier posts you know my profession in Second Life is in the sex trade as a stripper and escort. I can't say it is just about the money either. I really enjoy giving pleasure. This requires a bit more complexity in Lillith's and my ground rules. We both enjoy sex, and unlike guys, we don't wear out very fast. We both have clients to please and sometimes we get carried away with our coworkers. So, it isn't all work. Dancers can get pretty turned on watching each other and escorts will have sex with each other for fun and to sharing techniques. So when is it cheating?

I have heard that cheating is the number one reason people breakup SL I have also heard of First Life marriages collapsing because of SL relationships. That is why it is important to talk about it with your SL partner. Lillith and I have had several talks about our intimacy expectations and how it changes as the relationship grows. I do have my moments of insecurity and I am sure Lillith does too. I measure my actions by whether or not it would hurt Lillith. I love Lillith, she is part of me now which sets her apart from everyone else. We also have SupurSub as a part of our life now and we both love her dearly.

I think out of all this comes responsibility. My actions can have an effect on people I love. It is unthinkable for me to knowingly hurt Lillith or Supersub. I believe what would constitute cheating between Lillith and I would be anything that dilutes or puts at risk the love we share. We don't ask that either one of us stop having sex with others. We have agreed to not have sex with new partners with out the other one present and participating at least the first time. I think this has at least two functions. First it is statement to the new partner that Lillith and I are together and no one comes between us. Second, it makes sure that any new partner in our life is compatible with both of us.

What this comes down to is simple, talk to your partner, be clear about your feelings, let your partner know what your needs and expectations are and listen to theirs. You will find that this can also work in your First Life. It was on my mind so I though I would share it.

Do Avatars have souls?

Deep thoughts about a bunch of pixels. Lillith has some pretty wonderful insight into things in Second Life. We were talking about sex, love and emotional attachments between avatars. I made a comment about love coming from the heart and she said it came from the soul. This made wonder about Avatars having souls.

I don't mean the avatars that are a mirror of their 1st life counter part. I assume their soul is the same as their first life counter parts. I was thinking about the ones like Lillith or me who have broken free from their creators, as it were. We were given life in-world and took it where our creators never imagined. Maybe we are pieces of our creators that were crying for autonomy and once we got it we kept it. Now we go about or business while our creators look on. We are spontaneous to our environment as if we have a separate consciousness from our creator. We are more like characters in an interactive TV show that our creators
are watching.

We are a piece of our creator then we have a piece of their soul. Some of us are more alive in Second Life than our creators are in their first life. This can be so for many reasons.

I think the biggest one is gender role play. I know it freaks some people out but I think is an excellent function of Second Life what better safer environment is there to learn about another gender.

Then there are also disabilities both physical and mental that may limits someone in Real Life but allow them to develop a full second life. With freedoms they may not have in Real Life

The last one is the tricky one. The people in their first life that have "normal" lives that have become a routine trap they long to escape from but see no way out. Here in Second Life they
live their dream by night and slip back to their Real Life persona by day. I think this group is huge. I think some avatars evolve into this role and some plan it out from the start. What is so cool about this one is that you never know who they are in Real life.

I left out Fetishes and Sexual role play because I think they can be part of all of the above groups. Even if it creates the biggest scandals about Second Life I think it is mostly very healthy. If Lindens can figure out how to keep minors out of game and allow avatars to identify PG and Mature preferences. I think it is a good thing.

Back to the soul question and why it even came up. Lillith and I new almost from the moment we saw each other that we wanted to be together. It was unclear to both of us what that meant. We just knew there was something there. In Second Life everybody is beautiful and there are no pheromones to cloud the attraction issues. So what draws us together? Avatars fall in love and get married in SL but seldom meet in their Real Life. It isn't appearance since Lillith and I are crazy about each other no matter what skin or shape we wear.

Lillith suggested it is our souls reaching through cyberspace and connecting. I tend to agree that it is something like that. Something outside of the five senses appeals to us. I feel I am in an almost euphoric state of well being when I am just cuddled up in Lilliths arms. I cannot explain any reasoning behind it. Sex his pretty much my occupation in Second Life but nothing fulfills me as much as cuddling with Lillith. I have to attribute it to something akin to our souls. A cybersoul or even something reaching from my creator to her creator that will never work in Real Life but is heaven in Second Life. I am content with that so far. I know we are not the only ones that have had this experience..

If anybody has similar experiences I would like to hear about it. Please comment on this blog. I allow anonymous posts just click the correct button.

Who are we?

I think the residents of Second Life are looking for something they are not getting in their first life. It is my opinion that the very fact that they hang out on Second Life supports this. I don't think that applies to everyone who joins Second Life. I think it applies to pretty much everybody who hangs out on Second Life more than three or four hours a week. This doesn't means they are not happy with their first life it just means something is not being fulfilled. For each person it is different. I admit there are fetishes that I may not understand but I think most are harmless and therapeutic. I am learning a lot out people and even more about myself.

What has become most important to me are the friendships that have developed. Besides my love of my life, Lillith, I am regularly making new friends. some of my dearest an close friends I have written about in previous posts. My Second Life occupations and friendships give me a wonderful insight into the diverse residence of Second Life. Not everyone that joins Second Life and sticks is going to show up in a strip club but enough still do to keep me financially solvent and many of them have a story to tell while they watch me dance. Some even ask for advice. Almost all of them are fascinating, friendly and very nice.
It is very rare that I someone is rude or threatening.

So, What I have found is that there are a few types of residents that I have met. On the one end there are those that are pretty much a mirror of their First Life only a bit brighter and shinier and at the other end a completely fictional character derived from fantasy. All of them are fine with me. I welcome you all to Second Life and my friends list. Just be who you want to be and discovery who you are in the process.

Role Playing?

I am back to thinking about Second life being referred to as a role playing "game" (RPG). It is the word "game" that rubs many of us the wrong way. I might accept it as a role playing toy but I think it is more a role playing experience. (For those of you who haven't experienced Second Life, there is link to the website on this page)

I know many of you who haven't experienced Second Life or are very new will say, "But it isn't real". That, of course begs for a definition of real. I have had hours of IM discussions with my friend Lazlo about that definition. I agree with Lazlo's opinion about, perception becoming reality and our subconscious doesn't know the difference. I don't know how many of us heavy SL users dream about SL as much as we dream about RL. That is our subconscious talking.

I find the Second Life Experience to be a wonderful place for everyone to have a level playing field. We have the freedom to choose anything we want to be. You can be young or old. You can be free of disabilities. You can choose your gender, race or even species. You can start fresh and recreate yourself. I find that to be a wondrous freedom. This is the place for you to be what you may not be able to experience in your first life. Who knows, it might even make you a better person in your first life. SO, GO FOR IT!

I don't see anything wrong with you having a different persona in Second Life. You may have several with alternate avatars or even accounts. I don't really want to know about ones first life. It isn't that I don't care about them, it is, just for me, irrelevant. My experience is with your Second Life. I don't expect to meet you in your first life so it really doesn't matter who or what you are. My behavior towards you will only relate to your Second Life. I do care and would love to listen if you are having challenges in your first life or even doing something exciting and want to talk about it.

I let the post get too, long. I will close it. Please share your thoughts with me. I would like to hear them.

Thoughts on Second Life

I should get back to my biography but "stuff" keeps happening in Second Life that distracts me. Much of it causes me to stop and think about this world of Second Life. There are joys, pleasures and tragedies that happen here just as in Real Life.

There is such a wonderful diversity here. In a world where one can choose the appearance and construct whatever personality the choose, It fascinates me what people choose. Trust me, I am one of the most tolerant and accepting people you will meet. So I am only making observations here. I am not making judgements. In fact, I will be included in my observations.

One assumption. I make in all this is that "normal" people don't join Second Life and stick around. (I am not going to focus on what is "normal". That would be a First Life discussion. Out of the scope of my blog.)

Another assumption is that most friendships that develop in Second Life stay in Second Life. This has a significant effect on Second Life as a role playing game. Sorry, did I upset some of you when I called it a game? It has definitely evolved to something more I am not sure what to call it. Any suggestions?

More to come........