I Need To Be Strong

Well I can't sit around and worry. I need to keep things together until Lillith is back. I have rent to pay and only one income for the time being. I need to get back to work. It is hard when my heart hasn't been in it. That would be unfair to clients. I need to just remember I am doing it for Lillith, so she has a home to come back to. I will work as much I as I can so I can keep our old house and get the new house in Purrfect Droom ready for after our wedding.

I also need to get the wedding organized. After what Lillith is going through, I don't want to wait one moment longer than needed to get married. That will put my heart into working. We just have to get through this. I keep an image of our wedding in my head alse.

I also need you all to go down to Club H&G and vote for me to be the SL Illustrated July Calendar Girl. I don't know how to put an SL landmark in a blog, so, I need you to use the search in SL to find Club H&G, Teleport to it, click on the banner at the top of the SL Illustrated display and vote for July.

I am not giving up. I am back and I am going to make a wonderful home in SL for Lillith and me.

I want to thank all of you who have given me support for my vision of Lillith below. I know I have been derailed a bit. I also want to thank all of you who are voting for me. I hope to see you all soon on Second Life.

Visions of Lillith

I started this post a few days ago before I knew how sick Lillith is. When I found out she was back in the hospital and not doing well. I just crumbled under the feeling of helplessness. Lillith is what brings me back to Second Life every night. She touches my heart and soul like no one else does. When I was frustrated and crying on the couch in our SL home, my friend Lazlo IMed me. He just says hi, sometimes and asks how I am doing.

I told him about Lillith. I told him I was so afraid. He listened to me go on and on about how I feel about her about my fear of losing her because she is so sick. He asked me what it is the happiest time I have with her. So I told him, cuddling on the couch. Then he told me, I should create a vision of what I want, not what I didn't want. I should focus all my energy on that. He said; "What you are thinking is what you attract. If you want Lillith home and healthy with her arms wrapped around you, then that is the vision you need to focus on." I don't know if it is true or not but it makes some sense and the more people who hold that vision with me the stronger it will be. So I am posting my vision to this blog.

One part of the message that I received from Lillith's RL friend said; "She told me to tell you she thinks of you and misses you and wishes she was on the couch with you. I guess you know what that means." So that is my vision too. Cuddling on the couch is where Lillith are the happiest together. We do love to play and make passionate love to each other but we are most happy when we are in are cuddled on the couch with Lillith's arms and legs around me. That is the vision I hold in my head. That is where I will be waiting for Lilliths return. I have included a picture of us together there and link to another picture, so you can hold that image too. I need everyone to hold the vision of Lillith healthy and back home in SL. So, please help me send this vision to the universe.

Stripper Ethics

I saw a message to a chat room from the manager of one of the clubs I work in that made me think about working as a stripper (dancer) in Second Life. It is a great way for female avatars to make money in Second Life. It isn't easy money but it is better than camping. There is very little risk to the dancer and it is a great excuse to buy sexy clothes, skins and hair. There is however a big risk to the club owners. They are the ones paying the tier (rent) on the property and invested in all tools (poles, stage, tip jars, advertisements....) a dancer is using. This creates responsibilities for both the club owner and the dancers.

The club owner is responsible for providing an attractive club to draw in traffic. They need to promote and advertise their club. They also provide the stage and dance animations such as poles, chairs and stages. Some clubs schedule and advertise events, others locate the club where avatars must pass through the club to get somewhere else. These provide the traffic into the club. All this requires some onetime and ongoing costs which are paid by the club owner. This paid for buy a commission (15% to 20%) on tips that the dancers receive, some sales if there a vending areas and for awhile splodders helped a bit.

The dancers responsibility is to keep the customers there by looking irresistibly sexy, dancing, flirting and stripping as the tip jar fills up. There are rules of conduct, or ethics that goes along with being a dancer in a club. Remember girls, if the club can't pay the rent you don't have a place to make money. The clubs financial health is in your best interest. These are some rules I live by as a dancer and an escort.

If I am online to work, I work. If I am not with an escort client then I am dancing at the club that will produce the best tips. It is business.

If I am dancing at a club that is having an event, I stay to the end of the event, unless prearranged with the club owner or manager.

If a customer tips me directly, I tip the same amount to my tip jar. It isn't fair to the club owner and the other customers, who are waiting for you tip jar to hit the magic numbers that make your clothes come off. Since the tipper thinks they a doing you a favor tipping directyl, I will also sometimes IM the tipper to let him or her know that it is in my best interest to have them tip the jar.
If I have just been tipped, I make sure the tipper gets their money worth even if it is at the end of an event or I have an escort client waiting.

Every club is different. Some clubs set L$ amount totals for the tip jar for specific levels of nudity. Some clubs leave it up to you. Know the rules of the house and try to keep to them

If you are a new dancer you should be grateful for the chance to learn and grow. You may work for more than one club but once you are at an event you need to be loyal to that club and stick it out. If you don't like the club then you can quit and work in the clubs you like.

Remember, girls, if times are slow for us it is even harder on the club owners. They have expenses that keep needing to be paid.

Much is happening in Second Life

OMG, Second Live has been crazy since my last post. So many wonderful things have happened and one very challenging thing. Lillith has been very sick. I know this is very hard on Lillith she loves being here in Second Life. I to my best to keep things together here while she recovers. I don't want her to have to worry about anything. She just needs to heal. I will be here when she gets back. I look forward to sharing all the following great things with her. My love and energy has all been directed to her healing.

The good things have varied from simple and cool to major and exciting. The first cool thing that I can't wait to to share with Lilith is that Hard Rust moved the double dance pole to the front stage. Lillith and I love to dance together on the double dance pole. It really makes working a real pleasure

The second good thing was being asked to enter the Calender Girl competition. It is nice to be recognized. I didn't think I wanted to do it, but when I was asked I decided it was a good thing to do. With Lillith being sick I had to take my own photo. Lillith was online long enough to tweak it in Photo Shop. (I feel bad about it now. I didn't realize she was in pain when she did it. I would have found a way to do it myself if I had known) I will let you all know when and where to go and vote for me.

The third good thing is the new house I found for Lillith and me. We were thinking of getting another home for just us after we were married. I received a notice that the tropical escort island of Purrfect Droom was going to offer a very limited number of houses to rent. I jumped on it and rented a very nice house for Lilith and me. I think Lillith will love it. She only had a brief look at it while she was feeling pretty miserable.

While all of this has been going on, I have been worried about Lillith and missing her so very much. I hope she will be back soon.

Wow!!!! Three Months!!!

Lillith and I have been together for more than three months now and it only seems to get better. I know three months doesn't seem like much in a first life relationship but Second Life it so time compressed it is much longer here. We have had all the usual challenges that new relationships will have but we are good at talking about what we are feeling. We just know we love each other and work through anything that comes up. We make sure we are always open and honest to each other. We know Second Life is a different world than First Life so relationships are different. As long as we share with each other and know that our hearts are forever bound to each other, we have only grown stronger in our love. We have still managed to enjoy SL while managing our SL careers and stay madly in-love with each other.

I could go on and on and on about how happy and in-love Lillith and I are but it would bore and irritate most of you. I just wanted to make a statement about our 3 month milestone.

I also know couples in SL that have been married a year and are still going strong. So, even if you have no interest in a relationship in SL, don't be surprised if one day you are knocked off you feet by someone when you least expect it. It is a rabbit hole well worth jumping into and the ride is heavenly.

I love you, Lillith DeVaux.

Always new things to understand in SL

I meet so many people in my occupation as Stripper. I really enjoy meeting people and learning new things about Second life. I also learn a lot about people. To say people are very complex would be a huge understatement. Second Live give so much room to express what we may or may not know about ourselves. Me for example really didn't surface until my creator opened up my SL account an let me loose. Others discover things about themselves as they discover things about other people. I think there is a lot more going on in SL than just a role playing game. People are acting out things that they carry back to their first life.

I have met some wonderful people on Second Life many become friends, some are clients and some friends become lovers that Lillith and I share our time with. Each person is a complex piece of a bigger picture. It grows out from the avatar to their creator or handler. The creator may be me more than one avatar if they have Alts. The creator is a part of a family or community in "real" world. Connect through that network to a town, city, county, country, continent, planet, solar system, galaxy, universe, energy and back again to the energy in the act of creation.

Some how, we know when we meet some well formed pixels in Second Life there is something more there beyond the visuals and text. Something flowing through the the universe outside the network. Something that says I want to know this person. I don't mean the creator behind that person but this manifestation of something in consciousness of the that creator. This is all part of a puzzle made up of billions of pieces. It is so vast when you try to step back far enough to see it you end up in another universe.

I think Second Life creates a model that allows us to see more facets of the human psyche. Some of it is amazing and beautiful some of it is quite terrifying. I think is is better to be acted out here where it is somewhat harmless. It is when it is carried back to ones first life that it could create real problems or real benefits.

This was going to be a preface to a discussion about someone I met in SL. It seems to have taken its own path. I think I will just create a new post about her.

Losing My SL Virginity Part Two

It has been so long since I wrote about about my history in Second Life, I have to go back and read my old posts. OMG, how could I forget? It was about losing virginity. I still owe you all part two.

My first sexual encounter with a male avatar happened totally as an accident. It is actually a very funny story as look back on it. I had Lillith laughing her ass off when I told it to her. At the time it was significant and almost traumatic but I do find if very funny now. Never underestimate how naive we are as newbies.

When I was looking for work as a dancer and still camping to make money. I used go up to Flashbacks Strip Club above the lounge when was empty to practice on the dance poles. I think they even had a couple that paid out Lindens.

There was a sports car in the corner with a dance pole on the hood. I thought that would be fun so I clicked on it to try it out. It asked permission to animate my avatar. This was new to me and I clicked on "Yes" and started dancing. The club was empty and dark with out a single other avatar on the map.

I had been dancing for about twenty minutes when I noticed a green dot on the map not far from me. I looked around feeling a bit of panic and embarrassment. I could see a guy standing in the corner watching me. My first reaction was to stand up and teleport out of there but when but I missed the stand up button and clicked on the car which put my avatar into a very suggestive and invitational pose. This guy took it as an invitation and next think I knew, we were going at it. He must have taken over the menu because we kept shift positions and he had me me all over that car, on the hood, on the boot, in the seats and behind the car. It was all over in minutes. We never took our clothes off and I don't think he even had a penis. (maybe it doesn't count then?) but it was amazingly exciting.

I have no idea who he was but it was that experience that started me thinking about becoming an escort. It seemed fairly harmless but exciting. I also wanted to make sure I was in control from that point on. The best escorts are always in control of the experience even if the client thinks otherwise.

I thought it was interesting that the last pose in series left me standing with my back to the car and the guy with my arms crossed in a pouting sort of way. That was when he poofed away. It was an ironic end of a Second Life changing experience.