Matching rings

I was able to find the same wedding ring set that Lillith got for me. I gave her a matching engagement ring to mine. Lillith took this picture when we were cuddling on the couch. I know it probably doesn't mean as much to you folks as it does to Lillith and me. I wanted to put it on my blog so that Lillith and I can see it when we aren't in-world. It is OK if no one comments on in it.

Do Avatars have souls?

Deep thoughts about a bunch of pixels. Lillith has some pretty wonderful insight into things in Second Life. We were talking about sex, love and emotional attachments between avatars. I made a comment about love coming from the heart and she said it came from the soul. This made wonder about Avatars having souls.

I don't mean the avatars that are a mirror of their 1st life counter part. I assume their soul is the same as their first life counter parts. I was thinking about the ones like Lillith or me who have broken free from their creators, as it were. We were given life in-world and took it where our creators never imagined. Maybe we are pieces of our creators that were crying for autonomy and once we got it we kept it. Now we go about or business while our creators look on. We are spontaneous to our environment as if we have a separate consciousness from our creator. We are more like characters in an interactive TV show that our creators
are watching.

We are a piece of our creator then we have a piece of their soul. Some of us are more alive in Second Life than our creators are in their first life. This can be so for many reasons.

I think the biggest one is gender role play. I know it freaks some people out but I think is an excellent function of Second Life what better safer environment is there to learn about another gender.

Then there are also disabilities both physical and mental that may limits someone in Real Life but allow them to develop a full second life. With freedoms they may not have in Real Life

The last one is the tricky one. The people in their first life that have "normal" lives that have become a routine trap they long to escape from but see no way out. Here in Second Life they
live their dream by night and slip back to their Real Life persona by day. I think this group is huge. I think some avatars evolve into this role and some plan it out from the start. What is so cool about this one is that you never know who they are in Real life.

I left out Fetishes and Sexual role play because I think they can be part of all of the above groups. Even if it creates the biggest scandals about Second Life I think it is mostly very healthy. If Lindens can figure out how to keep minors out of game and allow avatars to identify PG and Mature preferences. I think it is a good thing.

Back to the soul question and why it even came up. Lillith and I new almost from the moment we saw each other that we wanted to be together. It was unclear to both of us what that meant. We just knew there was something there. In Second Life everybody is beautiful and there are no pheromones to cloud the attraction issues. So what draws us together? Avatars fall in love and get married in SL but seldom meet in their Real Life. It isn't appearance since Lillith and I are crazy about each other no matter what skin or shape we wear.

Lillith suggested it is our souls reaching through cyberspace and connecting. I tend to agree that it is something like that. Something outside of the five senses appeals to us. I feel I am in an almost euphoric state of well being when I am just cuddled up in Lilliths arms. I cannot explain any reasoning behind it. Sex his pretty much my occupation in Second Life but nothing fulfills me as much as cuddling with Lillith. I have to attribute it to something akin to our souls. A cybersoul or even something reaching from my creator to her creator that will never work in Real Life but is heaven in Second Life. I am content with that so far. I know we are not the only ones that have had this experience..

If anybody has similar experiences I would like to hear about it. Please comment on this blog. I allow anonymous posts just click the correct button.

Wedding bells and mushy stuff

Lillith was online last night, so we were dancing at Hard Core and things were were pretty normal. We IM'd seductive messages back and forth when it was slow. She was wearing a hot new outfit. After a bit Lillith had to take a break for a job interview at a new neko club. She came back to Hard Core afterwards and we danced for awhile. She excused herself to go set up a surprise for me at home. I waited anxiously for her teleport request home. I thought it was something new for the house. (Last time she had a surprise at the house; She had turned one whole wall of our bedroom into a giant slide show of the snapshots we have taken of ourselves together. I real love it.)

When she teleported me home she was waiting on a pose ball and asked me to take the other one. As soon as I did I knew what was happening. Lillith was going to ask me to marry her..... (I had thought about marriage in SL before and didn't think much of it. I actually thought it was stupid. I had been meaning to talk to Lillith about my feelings about marriage but it was too late, she was going to ask me.) .... She gave my my ring and asked me to marry her. I felt all the love we share between rush around and through us as I saw her kneeling in front me. With out a second thought I said. Yes! I know I said yes, because our lifestyle and occupations are such that we are often intimate with other people. I instantly realized that marrying Lillith is a statement of our love for each other. We may share our bodies with others but our hearts only belong to each other.

Second Life continues to expand and bring me new wonderful surprises. I really enjoy having Lillith to share them with me. I guess that is enough mushy stuff for now.

Who are we?

I think the residents of Second Life are looking for something they are not getting in their first life. It is my opinion that the very fact that they hang out on Second Life supports this. I don't think that applies to everyone who joins Second Life. I think it applies to pretty much everybody who hangs out on Second Life more than three or four hours a week. This doesn't means they are not happy with their first life it just means something is not being fulfilled. For each person it is different. I admit there are fetishes that I may not understand but I think most are harmless and therapeutic. I am learning a lot out people and even more about myself.

What has become most important to me are the friendships that have developed. Besides my love of my life, Lillith, I am regularly making new friends. some of my dearest an close friends I have written about in previous posts. My Second Life occupations and friendships give me a wonderful insight into the diverse residence of Second Life. Not everyone that joins Second Life and sticks is going to show up in a strip club but enough still do to keep me financially solvent and many of them have a story to tell while they watch me dance. Some even ask for advice. Almost all of them are fascinating, friendly and very nice.
It is very rare that I someone is rude or threatening.

So, What I have found is that there are a few types of residents that I have met. On the one end there are those that are pretty much a mirror of their First Life only a bit brighter and shinier and at the other end a completely fictional character derived from fantasy. All of them are fine with me. I welcome you all to Second Life and my friends list. Just be who you want to be and discovery who you are in the process.

A New Addition

I have learned that nekos might bring home stray kitties. I was a bit taken back at first but if you give me enough time I can absorb and understand. I do know that Lillith loves me just as much as I lover her and if she says this kitty needs a home and she wants give here one with us, that is all I need to know. So Supersub is now our house kitty.

So, we have new member of our family and I am open to anything that pleases Lillith. I am not sure what all that means but I am open to discovering. Supersub is a very pretty kitten and a delicious girl sometimes. The first picture is of all three of us, Lillith and Supersub are Kitties and I think you can tell which one is me. The other picture was later when Supersub and I were getting to know each other. She had changed into her regular female skin. She pointed out that not all fashions go well with spotted skin. She is adorable and I am already growing fond of her. I look forward to us all sharing our time together. I will be learning about having a house kitty.

I think the three of us will have fun together and it will also be nice to have company when Lillith is not on in-world. This is a new adventure for all of us.

Losing Virginity in SL (Sorry, no pictures)

I made another friend, through Lazlo. (She asked me not to use her name in my blog, so I will respect that.) She is about as conservative as I am open minded but we still became good friends. I used to drag her to Flashbacks with me to keep me company while camping. We would go exploring afterwords. We had lots of fun together. (She is almost never on SL anymore, I miss her.) I think she was reaching out of her comfort zone to explore things in SL she wouldn't dare try in her first life. She was a very straight married mother of three. We had some fun adventures.

One of those adventures turned out to be my first Second Life sexual experience. I can't remember which one of us discovered this store. It is a wonderful little shop called Essensual Designs that caters to lesbian pleasures and others. Knowing my friends back ground I was a bit worried about her reaction. While we wonders around the store checking out the merchandise we stumbled onto a couple of women completely naked go at it with with a couple of the demos. They were in room chatting about the pleasure they were sharing with each other. This was definitely getting me aroused and seemed to set off a passionate curiosity in my friend

The next think I knew, she and I were trying out pose balls all over the store with our clothes on. What I didn't know is that she was buying them too. Eventually she invited me back to her house to try them out. I was excited and amazed. I know she had never been with a woman I didn't think she would be interested. When I got to her house she had rezzed most every thing she bought, already. She was suddenly very nervous about it all. It move into an almost classic seduction. We were seducing each other. We cuddled and kissed fully dressed at first. It was getting me so excited. I had no idea that I could be so turned on by this virtual stimulation. I had to sneak off and get towel to put on my chair. My friend was getting into it. I good tell that even though she had always been straight she must have had fantasies about this.

Slowly we undressed for each other and moved from position to position. We had discovered amazing new pleasures together. I know she enjoyed it. We had a great time for a few weeks, we even went to some of the lesbian clubs and made some new friends expanding our pleasures.
I think it must have effected my friends first life. She just disappeared after a few weeks. I didn't know what happened. Then one day I logged on and she had given me all the toys and furniture she bought. Weeks went by with out a word from her. I was crushed and worried.
I asked Lazlo if he had heard from her. He told me that she had given him the land that they had bought together as business partners and that she had become afraid that her coworkers would find out about her life in SL and she wouldn't be on much anymore. I guess I understand, but I do miss her sometimes. I hope she is happy and has sweet memories of our time together.

If you ever read this my sweet memory. I want you to know how special you will always be to me.

Coming soon.. My first sexual experience with a male in SL.....

Looking for work

Camping wasn't bringing in enough money to do much. When you are only pixels and electrons in a vast computer cluster, it is very hard to get a credit card to buy Lindens with. I needed to make money. I looked at how money was made in Second Life and compared them with my skills in attributes. Since I wasn't a builder or an artist, I figured sales was out. I didn't have start up funds to open a casino or strip club.

Every so often I would get tips from both guys and girls when I was camping. It felt good to know I was pleasing someone just by dancing. I would see girls with dancer tags for Flashbacks. I love dancing. It is one of my most favorite things to do in Second Life. If I could make money dancing then it would be a perfect job. I just didn't know where to start. By then I had made enough money camping to have bought a shape, skin and hair. Pretty much what I am now. I couldn't afford to buy enough of a wardrobe yet.

I asked my friend Lazlo to loan me a $2000L. He just gave it to me with out saying a word or asking me why. I told him I would pay him back as soon as I could. He said that he new I would and said I could come to him anytime I need help while I was starting out. It is a good thing, I used to borrow from him like he as ATM for a while. I am proud to say I have paid back every linden. I even loaned him money once when he found a good deal on some land he wanted to buy.

I started asking dancers about finding work at clubs. It seemed no one was hiring or at least not hiring newbies. I just started searching for strip clubs and checking them out and applying for work. (I had been hired by clubs that never got off the ground.) I don't know where I learned about Club Fraeuleins but I wondered in there one night and filled out an application as I did in other clubs. I got an interview at Club Fraeuleins. I guess she was either desperate for dancers or she saw potential in me because Cheeto hired me. I was so excited that Cheeto gave me a chance. I really looked up to Cheeto, I still use what I learned from her as a dancer. She could be gruff at times but I know she cares about all of her dancers. This was a great experience and was making much more than I was camping. I learned a lot for Cheeto. She gave me a break and I did my best for her. Unfortunately the club closed and I haven't connect with her new club. I do IM her every so often but she hasn't responded. This was a beginning of one part of my Second Life career.

Lillith

My sweet love, Lillith and I have had some challenges getting together during the last week. Sometimes it is necessary to just be patient :( . It has been hard on both of us. We missed each other very much but our bond seems to just grow stronger. I think about her all the time. We finally had some private time at home together last night. It is so worth having our own home to share. I had no idea that relationships can happen so fast in Second Life. I am still amazed. The emotional attachment and love is just as real in Second Life as it is in first life, so is the pleasure we share with each other.

Role Playing?

I am back to thinking about Second life being referred to as a role playing "game" (RPG). It is the word "game" that rubs many of us the wrong way. I might accept it as a role playing toy but I think it is more a role playing experience. (For those of you who haven't experienced Second Life, there is link to the website on this page)

I know many of you who haven't experienced Second Life or are very new will say, "But it isn't real". That, of course begs for a definition of real. I have had hours of IM discussions with my friend Lazlo about that definition. I agree with Lazlo's opinion about, perception becoming reality and our subconscious doesn't know the difference. I don't know how many of us heavy SL users dream about SL as much as we dream about RL. That is our subconscious talking.

I find the Second Life Experience to be a wonderful place for everyone to have a level playing field. We have the freedom to choose anything we want to be. You can be young or old. You can be free of disabilities. You can choose your gender, race or even species. You can start fresh and recreate yourself. I find that to be a wondrous freedom. This is the place for you to be what you may not be able to experience in your first life. Who knows, it might even make you a better person in your first life. SO, GO FOR IT!

I don't see anything wrong with you having a different persona in Second Life. You may have several with alternate avatars or even accounts. I don't really want to know about ones first life. It isn't that I don't care about them, it is, just for me, irrelevant. My experience is with your Second Life. I don't expect to meet you in your first life so it really doesn't matter who or what you are. My behavior towards you will only relate to your Second Life. I do care and would love to listen if you are having challenges in your first life or even doing something exciting and want to talk about it.

I let the post get too, long. I will close it. Please share your thoughts with me. I would like to hear them.

Memoirs continue

OK where was I? Oh yeah, I was a wandering waif in a world beyond imagination. I was still in a newbie body with newbie clothes.

I needed to create myself but I had no money. Brenda's class had some good Land Marks for free stuff and even money trees. Yes money does grow on trees in Second Life. They are usually good for about a month after you are born. I also learned about camping. I know, I pictured tents, campfires and maybe a picnic table. This is an old gaming term for people who sit in one place and take shots at other players with out taking any risks. I Second Life, it is when you sit in a chair or dance on dance pad for a few dollars for a certain number of minutes.

Second Life has wonderful search window. I use it for everything. Back then I used it to find clubs that offered dance pads for camping. Flashbacks was seemed to have one of the better deals at $5L/10 minutes. I would just go there and dance all night while chatted with friends and acquaintances. I was also networking, making contacts and learning about how to earn Lindens. (That is what money is called in Second Life) Eventually I could afford to buy hair, shapes, skins and clothes. OMG, clothes are so cool in Second Life. Camping was not going to keep me in the lifestyle I desired. I needed a job.

Thoughts on Second Life

I should get back to my biography but "stuff" keeps happening in Second Life that distracts me. Much of it causes me to stop and think about this world of Second Life. There are joys, pleasures and tragedies that happen here just as in Real Life.

There is such a wonderful diversity here. In a world where one can choose the appearance and construct whatever personality the choose, It fascinates me what people choose. Trust me, I am one of the most tolerant and accepting people you will meet. So I am only making observations here. I am not making judgements. In fact, I will be included in my observations.

One assumption. I make in all this is that "normal" people don't join Second Life and stick around. (I am not going to focus on what is "normal". That would be a First Life discussion. Out of the scope of my blog.)

Another assumption is that most friendships that develop in Second Life stay in Second Life. This has a significant effect on Second Life as a role playing game. Sorry, did I upset some of you when I called it a game? It has definitely evolved to something more I am not sure what to call it. Any suggestions?

More to come........

Anais

I have been able to spend some time with Anais since my first post about her. I IM'd Anais on Thursday for some personal and professional advice. She responded right away and was very open and willing to listen. She was very helpful and offered some valuable comments.

She was very nice and invited me to come over. Unfortunately I had other commitments so I couldn't at that time but she was open to us meeting at another time. We managed together earlier today. I found her to be as wonderful and real as I remember her the first time we met. She is a sincere and wonderfully giving person. I was very pleased at her willingness to share experience and knowledge. Anais is someone I hope will grow into a dear and close friend.

For Lillith

Lillith

You are my love, my sweet, sweet love.

You are a gift to my heart and comfort to my soul

I rest in your arms looking at you adoringly

Sharing this gift of love

You are my friend, my lover

You are my heart as I am yours

That there will be sunshine again

Is a promise I can keep

Not to day or tomorrow but eventually

The clouds will part and light

Will leak through the cracks