Intense!!!

Wow!! My creator woke up out of breath this morning. I had some of her Dream Time last night. I dreamed I was with my beautiful Lillith. We were dancing at one of the clubs she used to take me to. It has been a long time since I last dreamed of her. We were slow dancing and talking it was as if she never left. I still miss her terribly.

I have been trying to do a bio on her for Lazlo to give out on a notecard at the exhibit of her work. I think that's why she is on my mind even more than usual. I am also feeling a lose having to give up the house she bought for us. I will send her a land mark to our new place in Purrfect Droom. I have never stopped believing that she will return. I have learned to put the feelings in safe package on a shelf in my heart. I will open it and surround here in my passion when she returns.

I guess that is how I have moved on. More like suspended what I can't do anything about. I miss my SL family also, Dear Starlite, SuperSub and Brit. I guess they have all moved on while I was out of commission dealing with Lillith's disappearance. I have made a few new friends and even found another job. Second Life doesn't sit still neither can I. What won't change is that Lillith is my partner and if she still wants me when she comes back we will get married as soon as we can.

Happy New Year!!

It is my first new year. I don't know if there will be parties or Second Life will be empty because everybody is partying in their first life. I am not sure if I will be on.

Still no word on Lillith. I had hoped someone who knows her in RL would have sent me a message by now. I haven't seen much of our Second Life family lately. Supersub has found a new place so I am going to let the house go. It is way to big for me. I will move into the one I got for Lillith and I after our wedding. I hope Lillith will be happy there when she returns.

My friend Kerry is off SL while her handler is on vacation. Twilight is all green again and booming with changes. Brenda hasn't been on SL as much lately either. I did have a wonderful chat with her a couple nights ago. Lazlo's RL person has been sick with a cold but he has managed to be busy organizing Twilight. It is so beautiful all green again

I worked last night and made enough Lindens to pay my rent in Purrfect Droom and Twilight. I spent some time exploring Twilight when I paid my rent. It is such a beautiful place. I met a woman named Rachaelight, who was making some beautiful visual effects in Twilight Sandbox. It is so nice that Brenda and Laz have created a place to encourage artists and builders. I wish I had some talent I could direct that way.

I loaned Lazlo Lillith's art work, I was afraid it might be too erotic for him to put up in the Twilight Art Museum but he created a little section just for her. If you get a chance you should go to the Twilight Art Museum and Gallery to see them. I hope she doesn't mind. She is just too talented to not share. I am sorry they aren't for sale. Maybe she will sell copies of them when she comes back. It will be up to her.

My Creator flies back to the East Coast after New Years. I hope that means I will be on Second Life more. I really miss so many of my friends. I hope to see you in Second Life very soon.

Girls you know better!

I can't believe it is almost Christmas. I just realized I haven't posted a single blog this month. My creator hasn't given me much time on Second Life either. Finals, papers due and back in California with her parents for the Holidays. She sort of forgot about me. I have a few minutes while she is distracted to get a few words in.

First I want to let Lillith know, I miss her. I am still waiting for her to come back to Second Life. I am doing good but Second Life is incomplete with out her. I haven't given up hope that she will recover and return to me.

The second is more about relationships in Second Life. I haven't been on much but I do read the offline IMs from my friends and fellow working girls in Second Life. I am so happy for the new relationships developing. It tickles when I see true love after having felt it for myself. As for some of my fellow dancers who keep get their hearts broken, I have one very important statement that I have already told some of my dear friends. "If you met him watching you in a strip club, then assume he is going to cheat on you!!!" Do not look for a guy where you work. If you do and he cheats on you it is because he is a guy that goes to strip clubs and he thinks you are a bimbo. He is probably right if you keep doing it over and over again. If you are looking for a playmate then he may be what you want. Just don't expect to find true love that way. It is not impossible but you are more likely to get your heart broken that way.

If you are looking for love on Second Life, then you need to expand your experience to meet guys or gals in different environments. You can go to juke joints for dancing there are clubs for all different music some even have live music. You can also take classes on almost anything. There are hundreds of events you can go to and these are places you can meet people who may have similar interests to yours. There is nothing wrong with having fun with a playmate, just don't expect more than that. It breaks my heart watching people I love getting hurt over and over again when there are so many wonderful people in Second Life for you to meet.

I am sorry for the lecture, but it really breaks my heart watching people I love getting their hearts broken over and over again. One last point to to think about. "Love chooses you."

My First Christmas

Christmas in Purrfect Droom

Christmas in Twilight

The holiday season has arrived. My first in Second Life. My little Twilight apartment is has been turned to winter. I must remember to wear my furs when going outside. Brenda andLazlo have built a wonderful skating pond. Christmas Trees and snowmen have popped up every where. Christmas has bloomed.

Cat left me a beautiful Christmas tree for my home in Purrfect Droom.They have also added a skating rink and Christmas cheer all around the drum circle. I missed the last drum circle party. I really enjoy them. As soon as I get my reserves build up again, I will start furnishing my tropical paradise home. I doesn't take long to deplete once reserves when one stops working. So guys and gals who have picked up those notecards of mine send me an IM.

I have been messaging all my dear friends that I have neglected. I really hope to see you all very soon, somehwhere between my creators first life demands and my Second Life jobs. I miss those late night play times. Speaking of which. I think fall and winter is the time for romance in Second Life. As our first life gets dark and cold and drives us inside we look for companionship in Second Life. I am seeing some wonderful romances blossoming in Second Life. It is very uplifting to me. It gives me a sense of hope. You know who you are and it pleases me to see it.

Love, Romance, Sex and Passion in Second Life

OK, boys and girls, Second Life is full of Love and Romance. It seems to be everywhere in Second Life. If you are feeling it and worried about where it might lead, DON'T!!!!!. Take the leap. Every joy, every pleasure is much more wonderful than not doing it and worth any later heart ache. I wouldn't give up one moment of my time with Lillith to lessen the pain I have been feeling since her disappearance. If you find out the person you are falling for is a jerk, it is better to figure it out early and move on than just pining away for someone not worthy of your attention.

Yes, I know! I was cynical about love and marriage in Second Life in the early months of my life. Sex was just business. I was wrong. I was way wrong. I found the love and romance in Second Life as rewarding as First Life. Maybe we we don't have all of our senses in Second Life but the most important sex organ is our brain. We have imagination, the same imagination that takes us to another world when we read a book. I could feel every place Lillith ever touched me. I was warm and cozy in her arms. I really have no memory of my creator hunched over her keyboard in a cold dark room late at night.

We also have our hearts. Not the one that pumps blood but the one that holds and shares our love for each other. What we feel about our partners in Second Life is as real as our First Life. It may not be quite the same but the emotional attachments are there. The dreams we have about each other in our 1st life are real. I really love my friends in Second Life. They are as important to me as my Creators 1st life friends.

If you start to fall in love in Second Life, let it happen. Jump on for a ride of your life. I am not talking about free sex or the ones wanking away while they watch me dance or while I am servicing them. I am talking about pressing close to the one you love as you slow dancing on the beach or in a crowed club until you no longer notice there are people around. I am talking about slow descriptive expressions of passion as your Xcite Reachout is building over and over again to climax. I am talking about falling in love cuddling up in a pose. Lillith and I would sometimes leave our computers on all night so our avies slept or snuggled together while we slept in our First Life. It may seem silly but it is wonderful magic.

Are we going to get hurt? Of course, sometimes we will get hurt. It is just part of Life, first or second, It is part of the risk. It is still better than not experiencing it. Also, don't get nosey about their first life. It doesn't matter it isn't relevant. Discover who he or she is in Second Life. That is who you are falling in love with. If you get hung up on their first life you may miss someone beautiful. If you are struck by Cupid's arrow, LET IT HAPPEN!!!!

Thank you,

I really mean thank you for your friendship, your support, your patience. I may never know what happened to Lillith or she may be back before I am done typing this but so many of you have been there for me, supporting me with your love and generosity, patient with my self centered preoccupation worrying about Lillith.

Lillith used to say we never worry about the sex we had with others because they only had our bodies an not our hearts. It so true, because where ever Lilith is she still has my heart. I will only get it back when she comes back. In the mean time. I do have my life and since Second Life is my only life I had better get busy recovering my depleted reserves and move forward. When Lillith recovers and returns I will still be here taking good care of her heart.

I really want to name all of you who have been so supportive but there are so many of you and I am afraid I might miss one and hurt someones feelings. You know who you are and when I see you in my friends list or logging on and off, or dancing with you at a club, know that I love you and am so grateful to you.

I may be small but I am tough enough to get through this. I think I will move into Purrfect Droom and leave the Lillith and My other house as is for now. I know it is expensive but to let it go feels like I have given up. I want Supersub, Brit and Starlite to feel free to uses it. You are part of our family and I think I am ready to come out and play with you too. I miss you. The apartment is such a good deal in Twilight I will keep it as part of my roots, it is really where I began to find my freedom in Second Life. Unless Kerry wants to rent it and Laz doesn't have another place to rent her. Twilight is a wonderful place to live. Laz and Brenda have wonderful visions for that place. I still like to fly around Twilight late at night to see what has changed.

It may take me a while to build my reserves up enough to furnish my new place. I had saved a lot of Lindens back when times were good for us dancers and escorts. Lillith and I had some great ideas, I will try to carry them out and when she comes back she will be pleased.

I mostly wanted to make the post to let you all know I am OK. I might not be able to say I am fine yet but I am OK, I will make it through this. I am very sorry for causing any of you to worry.

Struggles

It is getting harder to go on Second Life. I miss Lillith so much, every day my heart stops as friends online loads the web page or I look at the Offline IMs in my Email. Has she been online? Has she sent a message to me? I know I have so many wonderful friends that I love dearly on Second Life, but Lillith is my Love. I ache for her even more when I am on line. I see photos on our slide show and her beautiful art work on the walls of our house. I need to hear from her, so bad.

I know you are probably growing tired of hearing about this. I am sorry I can't seem to think about anything else at the moment. I am struggling to keep afloat above the despair. Even if I can't handle being in world right now. I always log on before bed and sit on the couch to visualize cuddling with her and send an offline message of love and support to her.

Today and tomorrow always bring hope. If Lillith's friend who left me a message reads this please tell her I love her and miss her. Please let me know how she is doing via comment of Email.

Friends are a wonderful blessing.

Keeping it together isn't easy but so many wonderful friends in Second Life have helped me so much. Not knowing and missing Lillith so much is very hard on me but somewhere out there, Lillith and her creator have been fighting for her life and are recovering in a hospital. She is in my mind every moment. I am sending my heart and energy to Lillith night and day. I expect any and every moment to see her on line or find an offline Email message.

As I have tried to continue a relative "normal" Second Live, I have discovered how many wonderful friends Lillith an I have in SL, new and old. So many people are sending prayers and positive energy to Lillith and me. They help keep the positive images and feelings going. Lillith will have so many happy new and old friends to greet her when she returns.

Second Life is so amazing. impossible becomes possible here. I am so grateful for all the support you having given us. All our friends at Purrfect Droom, Twilight, Hard Core, Club H&G and especially our family, Supersub, Starlite and Brit. Thank you.

I Need To Be Strong

Well I can't sit around and worry. I need to keep things together until Lillith is back. I have rent to pay and only one income for the time being. I need to get back to work. It is hard when my heart hasn't been in it. That would be unfair to clients. I need to just remember I am doing it for Lillith, so she has a home to come back to. I will work as much I as I can so I can keep our old house and get the new house in Purrfect Droom ready for after our wedding.

I also need to get the wedding organized. After what Lillith is going through, I don't want to wait one moment longer than needed to get married. That will put my heart into working. We just have to get through this. I keep an image of our wedding in my head alse.

I also need you all to go down to Club H&G and vote for me to be the SL Illustrated July Calendar Girl. I don't know how to put an SL landmark in a blog, so, I need you to use the search in SL to find Club H&G, Teleport to it, click on the banner at the top of the SL Illustrated display and vote for July.

I am not giving up. I am back and I am going to make a wonderful home in SL for Lillith and me.

I want to thank all of you who have given me support for my vision of Lillith below. I know I have been derailed a bit. I also want to thank all of you who are voting for me. I hope to see you all soon on Second Life.

Visions of Lillith

I started this post a few days ago before I knew how sick Lillith is. When I found out she was back in the hospital and not doing well. I just crumbled under the feeling of helplessness. Lillith is what brings me back to Second Life every night. She touches my heart and soul like no one else does. When I was frustrated and crying on the couch in our SL home, my friend Lazlo IMed me. He just says hi, sometimes and asks how I am doing.

I told him about Lillith. I told him I was so afraid. He listened to me go on and on about how I feel about her about my fear of losing her because she is so sick. He asked me what it is the happiest time I have with her. So I told him, cuddling on the couch. Then he told me, I should create a vision of what I want, not what I didn't want. I should focus all my energy on that. He said; "What you are thinking is what you attract. If you want Lillith home and healthy with her arms wrapped around you, then that is the vision you need to focus on." I don't know if it is true or not but it makes some sense and the more people who hold that vision with me the stronger it will be. So I am posting my vision to this blog.

One part of the message that I received from Lillith's RL friend said; "She told me to tell you she thinks of you and misses you and wishes she was on the couch with you. I guess you know what that means." So that is my vision too. Cuddling on the couch is where Lillith are the happiest together. We do love to play and make passionate love to each other but we are most happy when we are in are cuddled on the couch with Lillith's arms and legs around me. That is the vision I hold in my head. That is where I will be waiting for Lilliths return. I have included a picture of us together there and link to another picture, so you can hold that image too. I need everyone to hold the vision of Lillith healthy and back home in SL. So, please help me send this vision to the universe.

Stripper Ethics

I saw a message to a chat room from the manager of one of the clubs I work in that made me think about working as a stripper (dancer) in Second Life. It is a great way for female avatars to make money in Second Life. It isn't easy money but it is better than camping. There is very little risk to the dancer and it is a great excuse to buy sexy clothes, skins and hair. There is however a big risk to the club owners. They are the ones paying the tier (rent) on the property and invested in all tools (poles, stage, tip jars, advertisements....) a dancer is using. This creates responsibilities for both the club owner and the dancers.

The club owner is responsible for providing an attractive club to draw in traffic. They need to promote and advertise their club. They also provide the stage and dance animations such as poles, chairs and stages. Some clubs schedule and advertise events, others locate the club where avatars must pass through the club to get somewhere else. These provide the traffic into the club. All this requires some onetime and ongoing costs which are paid by the club owner. This paid for buy a commission (15% to 20%) on tips that the dancers receive, some sales if there a vending areas and for awhile splodders helped a bit.

The dancers responsibility is to keep the customers there by looking irresistibly sexy, dancing, flirting and stripping as the tip jar fills up. There are rules of conduct, or ethics that goes along with being a dancer in a club. Remember girls, if the club can't pay the rent you don't have a place to make money. The clubs financial health is in your best interest. These are some rules I live by as a dancer and an escort.

If I am online to work, I work. If I am not with an escort client then I am dancing at the club that will produce the best tips. It is business.

If I am dancing at a club that is having an event, I stay to the end of the event, unless prearranged with the club owner or manager.

If a customer tips me directly, I tip the same amount to my tip jar. It isn't fair to the club owner and the other customers, who are waiting for you tip jar to hit the magic numbers that make your clothes come off. Since the tipper thinks they a doing you a favor tipping directyl, I will also sometimes IM the tipper to let him or her know that it is in my best interest to have them tip the jar.
If I have just been tipped, I make sure the tipper gets their money worth even if it is at the end of an event or I have an escort client waiting.

Every club is different. Some clubs set L$ amount totals for the tip jar for specific levels of nudity. Some clubs leave it up to you. Know the rules of the house and try to keep to them

If you are a new dancer you should be grateful for the chance to learn and grow. You may work for more than one club but once you are at an event you need to be loyal to that club and stick it out. If you don't like the club then you can quit and work in the clubs you like.

Remember, girls, if times are slow for us it is even harder on the club owners. They have expenses that keep needing to be paid.

Much is happening in Second Life

OMG, Second Live has been crazy since my last post. So many wonderful things have happened and one very challenging thing. Lillith has been very sick. I know this is very hard on Lillith she loves being here in Second Life. I to my best to keep things together here while she recovers. I don't want her to have to worry about anything. She just needs to heal. I will be here when she gets back. I look forward to sharing all the following great things with her. My love and energy has all been directed to her healing.

The good things have varied from simple and cool to major and exciting. The first cool thing that I can't wait to to share with Lilith is that Hard Rust moved the double dance pole to the front stage. Lillith and I love to dance together on the double dance pole. It really makes working a real pleasure

The second good thing was being asked to enter the Calender Girl competition. It is nice to be recognized. I didn't think I wanted to do it, but when I was asked I decided it was a good thing to do. With Lillith being sick I had to take my own photo. Lillith was online long enough to tweak it in Photo Shop. (I feel bad about it now. I didn't realize she was in pain when she did it. I would have found a way to do it myself if I had known) I will let you all know when and where to go and vote for me.

The third good thing is the new house I found for Lillith and me. We were thinking of getting another home for just us after we were married. I received a notice that the tropical escort island of Purrfect Droom was going to offer a very limited number of houses to rent. I jumped on it and rented a very nice house for Lilith and me. I think Lillith will love it. She only had a brief look at it while she was feeling pretty miserable.

While all of this has been going on, I have been worried about Lillith and missing her so very much. I hope she will be back soon.

Wow!!!! Three Months!!!

Lillith and I have been together for more than three months now and it only seems to get better. I know three months doesn't seem like much in a first life relationship but Second Life it so time compressed it is much longer here. We have had all the usual challenges that new relationships will have but we are good at talking about what we are feeling. We just know we love each other and work through anything that comes up. We make sure we are always open and honest to each other. We know Second Life is a different world than First Life so relationships are different. As long as we share with each other and know that our hearts are forever bound to each other, we have only grown stronger in our love. We have still managed to enjoy SL while managing our SL careers and stay madly in-love with each other.

I could go on and on and on about how happy and in-love Lillith and I are but it would bore and irritate most of you. I just wanted to make a statement about our 3 month milestone.

I also know couples in SL that have been married a year and are still going strong. So, even if you have no interest in a relationship in SL, don't be surprised if one day you are knocked off you feet by someone when you least expect it. It is a rabbit hole well worth jumping into and the ride is heavenly.

I love you, Lillith DeVaux.

Always new things to understand in SL

I meet so many people in my occupation as Stripper. I really enjoy meeting people and learning new things about Second life. I also learn a lot about people. To say people are very complex would be a huge understatement. Second Live give so much room to express what we may or may not know about ourselves. Me for example really didn't surface until my creator opened up my SL account an let me loose. Others discover things about themselves as they discover things about other people. I think there is a lot more going on in SL than just a role playing game. People are acting out things that they carry back to their first life.

I have met some wonderful people on Second Life many become friends, some are clients and some friends become lovers that Lillith and I share our time with. Each person is a complex piece of a bigger picture. It grows out from the avatar to their creator or handler. The creator may be me more than one avatar if they have Alts. The creator is a part of a family or community in "real" world. Connect through that network to a town, city, county, country, continent, planet, solar system, galaxy, universe, energy and back again to the energy in the act of creation.

Some how, we know when we meet some well formed pixels in Second Life there is something more there beyond the visuals and text. Something flowing through the the universe outside the network. Something that says I want to know this person. I don't mean the creator behind that person but this manifestation of something in consciousness of the that creator. This is all part of a puzzle made up of billions of pieces. It is so vast when you try to step back far enough to see it you end up in another universe.

I think Second Life creates a model that allows us to see more facets of the human psyche. Some of it is amazing and beautiful some of it is quite terrifying. I think is is better to be acted out here where it is somewhat harmless. It is when it is carried back to ones first life that it could create real problems or real benefits.

This was going to be a preface to a discussion about someone I met in SL. It seems to have taken its own path. I think I will just create a new post about her.

Losing My SL Virginity Part Two

It has been so long since I wrote about about my history in Second Life, I have to go back and read my old posts. OMG, how could I forget? It was about losing virginity. I still owe you all part two.

My first sexual encounter with a male avatar happened totally as an accident. It is actually a very funny story as look back on it. I had Lillith laughing her ass off when I told it to her. At the time it was significant and almost traumatic but I do find if very funny now. Never underestimate how naive we are as newbies.

When I was looking for work as a dancer and still camping to make money. I used go up to Flashbacks Strip Club above the lounge when was empty to practice on the dance poles. I think they even had a couple that paid out Lindens.

There was a sports car in the corner with a dance pole on the hood. I thought that would be fun so I clicked on it to try it out. It asked permission to animate my avatar. This was new to me and I clicked on "Yes" and started dancing. The club was empty and dark with out a single other avatar on the map.

I had been dancing for about twenty minutes when I noticed a green dot on the map not far from me. I looked around feeling a bit of panic and embarrassment. I could see a guy standing in the corner watching me. My first reaction was to stand up and teleport out of there but when but I missed the stand up button and clicked on the car which put my avatar into a very suggestive and invitational pose. This guy took it as an invitation and next think I knew, we were going at it. He must have taken over the menu because we kept shift positions and he had me me all over that car, on the hood, on the boot, in the seats and behind the car. It was all over in minutes. We never took our clothes off and I don't think he even had a penis. (maybe it doesn't count then?) but it was amazingly exciting.

I have no idea who he was but it was that experience that started me thinking about becoming an escort. It seemed fairly harmless but exciting. I also wanted to make sure I was in control from that point on. The best escorts are always in control of the experience even if the client thinks otherwise.

I thought it was interesting that the last pose in series left me standing with my back to the car and the guy with my arms crossed in a pouting sort of way. That was when he poofed away. It was an ironic end of a Second Life changing experience.

Equal Opportunity, Second Life flattens the playing field

I have been talking and thinking about first life class or caste systems and how they don't really apply in Second Life. Unless you tell someone, Nobody knows your race, religion, gender, health, income and age in Second Life.

Everyone arrives in Second Life the same way. People who have a mediocre first life can have a flamboyant Second Life. One could have several alternate Avatars and experience different aspects of life that are impossible in their first life.

It is up to you to be the person you want to be. I know of several people who have confessed to having a lonely and uneventful first life but are very popular and respected in Second Life. Some people develop their artistic talents or learn to build in Second Life. Others learn to socialize.

I have female friends in Second Life that are male in their first life. It has been a wonderful learning experience for them. Everyone of the has confessed to me that they had know idea what dicks guys could be. They have become more sensitive to the needs and feeling of women in there first life.

On the other hand, women who come to Second Life have total freedom here. We can look however we choose, We can dance, party, take lovers, create drama and walk away if we want. We can build, teach, own business and own property. As long as you never give out any first life information, it is totally safe environment. I have explored places and had experiences I would dream of in my first life.

The real point of all this is that when you come to Second Life you are accepted as a fellow avatar and it us up to you to become what you want to be. There are hundreds of free classes you can take. Most people in Second Life will try to be helpful if you politely ask questions. Remember, nobody knows who you are in you first life so you have no reason to be embarrassed to ask any question you want.

Go have fun, explore, learn and be somebody.

RL and SL

Well, I have been a away from my blog too long. I think about writing very often. I just haven't had the time lately. My creator seems to think the Real Life should have a higher priority than Second Life. I disagree, but then I don't exist in Real Life so I am a bit biased.

My life has had some changes. The economy has effected my income. Tips are down, escorting has dropped off, I am spending more time Lillith and less time working. This isn't a complaint. It is just how things are for now. I just have to be more budget conscious.

Lillith and I are still crazy in love with each other. When she is online I just want to be with her. I figure I can work when she isn't on line. Sometimes just laying in her arms and talking is heaven to me. Sometimes we make love until we fall asleep together. It has been 3 months since we met. I can no longer remember or imagine my life with out her in it.

We have added a beloved friend to our little family. She has the most wonderful name of Starlite Infinity. How we met is a wonderful story of SL serendipity. I was laying on the rug in Lillith's and my bedroom watching the slide show Lillith made us. My multigadget radar popped up Starlite Infinity's name being in the area. I was so intrigued by the name, I used camera mode to check out who she was. She was in chat range standing across the street so I said "Hello". She was looking at renting the tree house across the street. I could tell she was a newbie. I told her about Twilight and gave her a landmark. We chatted a bit then said goodnight and poof she was gone. I later found out she had rented the apartment next to me in Twilight. We started chatting more and became friends. She later moved to new place, I visited her there and she visited Lillith's and my home. As our friendship grew closer I introduced her to Lillith and we have all become very close friends. I look forward to when Supersub and Starlite can meet and hang out with Lillith and me.

There have been some wonderful changes in Twilight. The populations has grown, Brenda and Lazlo have built more apartments. Lazlo is building a magnificent Art Museum and Gallery. I guess I sort of inspired it. My friend Kerry sent a notice about her art show. I went to see her work. When I saw her photographs, I knew Lazlo would like them so I sent him a teleport. When came to the show he bought several her works. While he was looking at the other artists there, he decided to build an art museum. Well he did and it is beautiful. It is right next to the Cathedral that Lillith and I are going to be married in. If you haven't been to Twilight yet. you should go there.

All in all, Second Life has been good. I hope to see you there sometime.

Relationships, Partnerships and Marriage in SL

Parsing the relationship matrices in Second life can be very confusing and tricky. This virtual world has so many opportunities and variations it is impossible to define a universal moral code. There are so many reasons why people are in in-world, which may effect their relationships in both realms.

I am only talking about intimate relations in this posts. I will discuss the wonderful deep friendships in SL at a later time.

Those who are mirrors of their first life are bound by what ever moral code they bring from their first life. If they are in a First Life relationship then they might feel a second life sexual encounter is cheating. If they are true to their values it will be avoided. Unfortunately for them, Second Life doesn't work that way. SL is serendipitous and mischievous in it's nature. If you don't want a romance in Second Life it will create one for you anyway. As I have mentioned in previous posts, something seems to able to reach through cyberspace and touch hearts. I fear the purist of these relationships are doomed to misery. If they never fulfill their Second Life desires SL will become too frustrating for them to keep coming to and if they do give in to their desires, the guilt will drive them apart eventually.

In contrast to the previous type there are the total porn crazy pleasure seekers. Mostly men often with female avatars. They are here for the sole purposes of acting out every sexual fantasy the have imagined. Strangely enough I have very little contact with them since the aren't about to pay for sex. They often end up having very wild times with those of their own kind. It is all visual for them so it doesn't really matter who is behind the Avatar as long as they are getting their rocks off.

The ones like me, completely free of First Life ties, have a different set of problems. I wasn't look for a long term relationship. (Galen smiles as she looks at her beautiful engagement ring and thinks of Lillith) It still happened. If you have read my earlier posts you know my profession in Second Life is in the sex trade as a stripper and escort. I can't say it is just about the money either. I really enjoy giving pleasure. This requires a bit more complexity in Lillith's and my ground rules. We both enjoy sex, and unlike guys, we don't wear out very fast. We both have clients to please and sometimes we get carried away with our coworkers. So, it isn't all work. Dancers can get pretty turned on watching each other and escorts will have sex with each other for fun and to sharing techniques. So when is it cheating?

I have heard that cheating is the number one reason people breakup SL I have also heard of First Life marriages collapsing because of SL relationships. That is why it is important to talk about it with your SL partner. Lillith and I have had several talks about our intimacy expectations and how it changes as the relationship grows. I do have my moments of insecurity and I am sure Lillith does too. I measure my actions by whether or not it would hurt Lillith. I love Lillith, she is part of me now which sets her apart from everyone else. We also have SupurSub as a part of our life now and we both love her dearly.

I think out of all this comes responsibility. My actions can have an effect on people I love. It is unthinkable for me to knowingly hurt Lillith or Supersub. I believe what would constitute cheating between Lillith and I would be anything that dilutes or puts at risk the love we share. We don't ask that either one of us stop having sex with others. We have agreed to not have sex with new partners with out the other one present and participating at least the first time. I think this has at least two functions. First it is statement to the new partner that Lillith and I are together and no one comes between us. Second, it makes sure that any new partner in our life is compatible with both of us.

What this comes down to is simple, talk to your partner, be clear about your feelings, let your partner know what your needs and expectations are and listen to theirs. You will find that this can also work in your First Life. It was on my mind so I though I would share it.

Matching rings

I was able to find the same wedding ring set that Lillith got for me. I gave her a matching engagement ring to mine. Lillith took this picture when we were cuddling on the couch. I know it probably doesn't mean as much to you folks as it does to Lillith and me. I wanted to put it on my blog so that Lillith and I can see it when we aren't in-world. It is OK if no one comments on in it.

Do Avatars have souls?

Deep thoughts about a bunch of pixels. Lillith has some pretty wonderful insight into things in Second Life. We were talking about sex, love and emotional attachments between avatars. I made a comment about love coming from the heart and she said it came from the soul. This made wonder about Avatars having souls.

I don't mean the avatars that are a mirror of their 1st life counter part. I assume their soul is the same as their first life counter parts. I was thinking about the ones like Lillith or me who have broken free from their creators, as it were. We were given life in-world and took it where our creators never imagined. Maybe we are pieces of our creators that were crying for autonomy and once we got it we kept it. Now we go about or business while our creators look on. We are spontaneous to our environment as if we have a separate consciousness from our creator. We are more like characters in an interactive TV show that our creators
are watching.

We are a piece of our creator then we have a piece of their soul. Some of us are more alive in Second Life than our creators are in their first life. This can be so for many reasons.

I think the biggest one is gender role play. I know it freaks some people out but I think is an excellent function of Second Life what better safer environment is there to learn about another gender.

Then there are also disabilities both physical and mental that may limits someone in Real Life but allow them to develop a full second life. With freedoms they may not have in Real Life

The last one is the tricky one. The people in their first life that have "normal" lives that have become a routine trap they long to escape from but see no way out. Here in Second Life they
live their dream by night and slip back to their Real Life persona by day. I think this group is huge. I think some avatars evolve into this role and some plan it out from the start. What is so cool about this one is that you never know who they are in Real life.

I left out Fetishes and Sexual role play because I think they can be part of all of the above groups. Even if it creates the biggest scandals about Second Life I think it is mostly very healthy. If Lindens can figure out how to keep minors out of game and allow avatars to identify PG and Mature preferences. I think it is a good thing.

Back to the soul question and why it even came up. Lillith and I new almost from the moment we saw each other that we wanted to be together. It was unclear to both of us what that meant. We just knew there was something there. In Second Life everybody is beautiful and there are no pheromones to cloud the attraction issues. So what draws us together? Avatars fall in love and get married in SL but seldom meet in their Real Life. It isn't appearance since Lillith and I are crazy about each other no matter what skin or shape we wear.

Lillith suggested it is our souls reaching through cyberspace and connecting. I tend to agree that it is something like that. Something outside of the five senses appeals to us. I feel I am in an almost euphoric state of well being when I am just cuddled up in Lilliths arms. I cannot explain any reasoning behind it. Sex his pretty much my occupation in Second Life but nothing fulfills me as much as cuddling with Lillith. I have to attribute it to something akin to our souls. A cybersoul or even something reaching from my creator to her creator that will never work in Real Life but is heaven in Second Life. I am content with that so far. I know we are not the only ones that have had this experience..

If anybody has similar experiences I would like to hear about it. Please comment on this blog. I allow anonymous posts just click the correct button.

Wedding bells and mushy stuff

Lillith was online last night, so we were dancing at Hard Core and things were were pretty normal. We IM'd seductive messages back and forth when it was slow. She was wearing a hot new outfit. After a bit Lillith had to take a break for a job interview at a new neko club. She came back to Hard Core afterwards and we danced for awhile. She excused herself to go set up a surprise for me at home. I waited anxiously for her teleport request home. I thought it was something new for the house. (Last time she had a surprise at the house; She had turned one whole wall of our bedroom into a giant slide show of the snapshots we have taken of ourselves together. I real love it.)

When she teleported me home she was waiting on a pose ball and asked me to take the other one. As soon as I did I knew what was happening. Lillith was going to ask me to marry her..... (I had thought about marriage in SL before and didn't think much of it. I actually thought it was stupid. I had been meaning to talk to Lillith about my feelings about marriage but it was too late, she was going to ask me.) .... She gave my my ring and asked me to marry her. I felt all the love we share between rush around and through us as I saw her kneeling in front me. With out a second thought I said. Yes! I know I said yes, because our lifestyle and occupations are such that we are often intimate with other people. I instantly realized that marrying Lillith is a statement of our love for each other. We may share our bodies with others but our hearts only belong to each other.

Second Life continues to expand and bring me new wonderful surprises. I really enjoy having Lillith to share them with me. I guess that is enough mushy stuff for now.

Who are we?

I think the residents of Second Life are looking for something they are not getting in their first life. It is my opinion that the very fact that they hang out on Second Life supports this. I don't think that applies to everyone who joins Second Life. I think it applies to pretty much everybody who hangs out on Second Life more than three or four hours a week. This doesn't means they are not happy with their first life it just means something is not being fulfilled. For each person it is different. I admit there are fetishes that I may not understand but I think most are harmless and therapeutic. I am learning a lot out people and even more about myself.

What has become most important to me are the friendships that have developed. Besides my love of my life, Lillith, I am regularly making new friends. some of my dearest an close friends I have written about in previous posts. My Second Life occupations and friendships give me a wonderful insight into the diverse residence of Second Life. Not everyone that joins Second Life and sticks is going to show up in a strip club but enough still do to keep me financially solvent and many of them have a story to tell while they watch me dance. Some even ask for advice. Almost all of them are fascinating, friendly and very nice.
It is very rare that I someone is rude or threatening.

So, What I have found is that there are a few types of residents that I have met. On the one end there are those that are pretty much a mirror of their First Life only a bit brighter and shinier and at the other end a completely fictional character derived from fantasy. All of them are fine with me. I welcome you all to Second Life and my friends list. Just be who you want to be and discovery who you are in the process.

A New Addition

I have learned that nekos might bring home stray kitties. I was a bit taken back at first but if you give me enough time I can absorb and understand. I do know that Lillith loves me just as much as I lover her and if she says this kitty needs a home and she wants give here one with us, that is all I need to know. So Supersub is now our house kitty.

So, we have new member of our family and I am open to anything that pleases Lillith. I am not sure what all that means but I am open to discovering. Supersub is a very pretty kitten and a delicious girl sometimes. The first picture is of all three of us, Lillith and Supersub are Kitties and I think you can tell which one is me. The other picture was later when Supersub and I were getting to know each other. She had changed into her regular female skin. She pointed out that not all fashions go well with spotted skin. She is adorable and I am already growing fond of her. I look forward to us all sharing our time together. I will be learning about having a house kitty.

I think the three of us will have fun together and it will also be nice to have company when Lillith is not on in-world. This is a new adventure for all of us.

Losing Virginity in SL (Sorry, no pictures)

I made another friend, through Lazlo. (She asked me not to use her name in my blog, so I will respect that.) She is about as conservative as I am open minded but we still became good friends. I used to drag her to Flashbacks with me to keep me company while camping. We would go exploring afterwords. We had lots of fun together. (She is almost never on SL anymore, I miss her.) I think she was reaching out of her comfort zone to explore things in SL she wouldn't dare try in her first life. She was a very straight married mother of three. We had some fun adventures.

One of those adventures turned out to be my first Second Life sexual experience. I can't remember which one of us discovered this store. It is a wonderful little shop called Essensual Designs that caters to lesbian pleasures and others. Knowing my friends back ground I was a bit worried about her reaction. While we wonders around the store checking out the merchandise we stumbled onto a couple of women completely naked go at it with with a couple of the demos. They were in room chatting about the pleasure they were sharing with each other. This was definitely getting me aroused and seemed to set off a passionate curiosity in my friend

The next think I knew, she and I were trying out pose balls all over the store with our clothes on. What I didn't know is that she was buying them too. Eventually she invited me back to her house to try them out. I was excited and amazed. I know she had never been with a woman I didn't think she would be interested. When I got to her house she had rezzed most every thing she bought, already. She was suddenly very nervous about it all. It move into an almost classic seduction. We were seducing each other. We cuddled and kissed fully dressed at first. It was getting me so excited. I had no idea that I could be so turned on by this virtual stimulation. I had to sneak off and get towel to put on my chair. My friend was getting into it. I good tell that even though she had always been straight she must have had fantasies about this.

Slowly we undressed for each other and moved from position to position. We had discovered amazing new pleasures together. I know she enjoyed it. We had a great time for a few weeks, we even went to some of the lesbian clubs and made some new friends expanding our pleasures.
I think it must have effected my friends first life. She just disappeared after a few weeks. I didn't know what happened. Then one day I logged on and she had given me all the toys and furniture she bought. Weeks went by with out a word from her. I was crushed and worried.
I asked Lazlo if he had heard from her. He told me that she had given him the land that they had bought together as business partners and that she had become afraid that her coworkers would find out about her life in SL and she wouldn't be on much anymore. I guess I understand, but I do miss her sometimes. I hope she is happy and has sweet memories of our time together.

If you ever read this my sweet memory. I want you to know how special you will always be to me.

Coming soon.. My first sexual experience with a male in SL.....

Looking for work

Camping wasn't bringing in enough money to do much. When you are only pixels and electrons in a vast computer cluster, it is very hard to get a credit card to buy Lindens with. I needed to make money. I looked at how money was made in Second Life and compared them with my skills in attributes. Since I wasn't a builder or an artist, I figured sales was out. I didn't have start up funds to open a casino or strip club.

Every so often I would get tips from both guys and girls when I was camping. It felt good to know I was pleasing someone just by dancing. I would see girls with dancer tags for Flashbacks. I love dancing. It is one of my most favorite things to do in Second Life. If I could make money dancing then it would be a perfect job. I just didn't know where to start. By then I had made enough money camping to have bought a shape, skin and hair. Pretty much what I am now. I couldn't afford to buy enough of a wardrobe yet.

I asked my friend Lazlo to loan me a $2000L. He just gave it to me with out saying a word or asking me why. I told him I would pay him back as soon as I could. He said that he new I would and said I could come to him anytime I need help while I was starting out. It is a good thing, I used to borrow from him like he as ATM for a while. I am proud to say I have paid back every linden. I even loaned him money once when he found a good deal on some land he wanted to buy.

I started asking dancers about finding work at clubs. It seemed no one was hiring or at least not hiring newbies. I just started searching for strip clubs and checking them out and applying for work. (I had been hired by clubs that never got off the ground.) I don't know where I learned about Club Fraeuleins but I wondered in there one night and filled out an application as I did in other clubs. I got an interview at Club Fraeuleins. I guess she was either desperate for dancers or she saw potential in me because Cheeto hired me. I was so excited that Cheeto gave me a chance. I really looked up to Cheeto, I still use what I learned from her as a dancer. She could be gruff at times but I know she cares about all of her dancers. This was a great experience and was making much more than I was camping. I learned a lot for Cheeto. She gave me a break and I did my best for her. Unfortunately the club closed and I haven't connect with her new club. I do IM her every so often but she hasn't responded. This was a beginning of one part of my Second Life career.

Lillith

My sweet love, Lillith and I have had some challenges getting together during the last week. Sometimes it is necessary to just be patient :( . It has been hard on both of us. We missed each other very much but our bond seems to just grow stronger. I think about her all the time. We finally had some private time at home together last night. It is so worth having our own home to share. I had no idea that relationships can happen so fast in Second Life. I am still amazed. The emotional attachment and love is just as real in Second Life as it is in first life, so is the pleasure we share with each other.

Role Playing?

I am back to thinking about Second life being referred to as a role playing "game" (RPG). It is the word "game" that rubs many of us the wrong way. I might accept it as a role playing toy but I think it is more a role playing experience. (For those of you who haven't experienced Second Life, there is link to the website on this page)

I know many of you who haven't experienced Second Life or are very new will say, "But it isn't real". That, of course begs for a definition of real. I have had hours of IM discussions with my friend Lazlo about that definition. I agree with Lazlo's opinion about, perception becoming reality and our subconscious doesn't know the difference. I don't know how many of us heavy SL users dream about SL as much as we dream about RL. That is our subconscious talking.

I find the Second Life Experience to be a wonderful place for everyone to have a level playing field. We have the freedom to choose anything we want to be. You can be young or old. You can be free of disabilities. You can choose your gender, race or even species. You can start fresh and recreate yourself. I find that to be a wondrous freedom. This is the place for you to be what you may not be able to experience in your first life. Who knows, it might even make you a better person in your first life. SO, GO FOR IT!

I don't see anything wrong with you having a different persona in Second Life. You may have several with alternate avatars or even accounts. I don't really want to know about ones first life. It isn't that I don't care about them, it is, just for me, irrelevant. My experience is with your Second Life. I don't expect to meet you in your first life so it really doesn't matter who or what you are. My behavior towards you will only relate to your Second Life. I do care and would love to listen if you are having challenges in your first life or even doing something exciting and want to talk about it.

I let the post get too, long. I will close it. Please share your thoughts with me. I would like to hear them.

Memoirs continue

OK where was I? Oh yeah, I was a wandering waif in a world beyond imagination. I was still in a newbie body with newbie clothes.

I needed to create myself but I had no money. Brenda's class had some good Land Marks for free stuff and even money trees. Yes money does grow on trees in Second Life. They are usually good for about a month after you are born. I also learned about camping. I know, I pictured tents, campfires and maybe a picnic table. This is an old gaming term for people who sit in one place and take shots at other players with out taking any risks. I Second Life, it is when you sit in a chair or dance on dance pad for a few dollars for a certain number of minutes.

Second Life has wonderful search window. I use it for everything. Back then I used it to find clubs that offered dance pads for camping. Flashbacks was seemed to have one of the better deals at $5L/10 minutes. I would just go there and dance all night while chatted with friends and acquaintances. I was also networking, making contacts and learning about how to earn Lindens. (That is what money is called in Second Life) Eventually I could afford to buy hair, shapes, skins and clothes. OMG, clothes are so cool in Second Life. Camping was not going to keep me in the lifestyle I desired. I needed a job.

Thoughts on Second Life

I should get back to my biography but "stuff" keeps happening in Second Life that distracts me. Much of it causes me to stop and think about this world of Second Life. There are joys, pleasures and tragedies that happen here just as in Real Life.

There is such a wonderful diversity here. In a world where one can choose the appearance and construct whatever personality the choose, It fascinates me what people choose. Trust me, I am one of the most tolerant and accepting people you will meet. So I am only making observations here. I am not making judgements. In fact, I will be included in my observations.

One assumption. I make in all this is that "normal" people don't join Second Life and stick around. (I am not going to focus on what is "normal". That would be a First Life discussion. Out of the scope of my blog.)

Another assumption is that most friendships that develop in Second Life stay in Second Life. This has a significant effect on Second Life as a role playing game. Sorry, did I upset some of you when I called it a game? It has definitely evolved to something more I am not sure what to call it. Any suggestions?

More to come........

Anais

I have been able to spend some time with Anais since my first post about her. I IM'd Anais on Thursday for some personal and professional advice. She responded right away and was very open and willing to listen. She was very helpful and offered some valuable comments.

She was very nice and invited me to come over. Unfortunately I had other commitments so I couldn't at that time but she was open to us meeting at another time. We managed together earlier today. I found her to be as wonderful and real as I remember her the first time we met. She is a sincere and wonderfully giving person. I was very pleased at her willingness to share experience and knowledge. Anais is someone I hope will grow into a dear and close friend.

For Lillith

Lillith

You are my love, my sweet, sweet love.

You are a gift to my heart and comfort to my soul

I rest in your arms looking at you adoringly

Sharing this gift of love

You are my friend, my lover

You are my heart as I am yours

That there will be sunshine again

Is a promise I can keep

Not to day or tomorrow but eventually

The clouds will part and light

Will leak through the cracks

Our new home

Lillith bought us a house. A home for us both together. I couldn't believe it but it is wonderfully true. We have a huge house on a giant lot in Second Life. We have been furnishing it. It is our home together. We have a place to spend time together, just the two us, lost in each others pleasure. I am so happy it scares me. We sometimes we just fall asleep in each others arms. I didn't know that SL could be so wonderful.

We have most of the furniture in place and I am now shopping for the finishing up stuff, like art rugs and stuff.

It tickles me every time I think about our house. I am so amazed by all of this. I am very pleased too. Life is so accelerated in Second Life.

Adriane

Adriane is a very special friend. She has a wonderful heart. I love her sense of humor and her sweet helpful nature. She has a beauty that glows from inside her. She is the heart of twilight, a true princess. She is an artist. not just a painter artist but the kind of artist that is an artist in how she perceives the world. We have a mutual friend that once told me that Adriane is poetry manifest in human form. I understood the moment he said it.

My first contact with Adriane was when I bought a bean bag chair and cuddle rug from her little shop in Twilight. One of them didn't deliver so I IMd her. She was so sweet and concerned about it. She sent it to me right away.

I remember the first time, I really met Adriane. It was up in sky at the Twilight Sandbox. To unwind after working at a club I often fly or walk around Twilight looking at what is new or what has changed. I bumped into Adriane working away on a sculpture at 2 or 3 am. It was the first time I had seen an Animation Override pose for avatars. I was in awe of her. I just wanted to stand there and watch her work. I was shy at the time to ask. I just talked to her for a few minutes. I have no idea what she thought of me. I am sure she was at least amused buy the newbie I was at the time. I have gotten to know her better over time. She has wonderful blog I will put a link on this blog.

One of the many talents Adriane has is Photography, I asked her to do the photos for my Profile and business notecards. I totally trust her so I just made and appointment and put myself in her hands. I was very happy with the results. I am looking forward to making more photos with her. She will also be taking some photos of Lillith and me

Adriane is truly one of my favorite people in SL. She is the wonderful princess of Twilight. She is partly why I keep my apartment in Twilight. I always want to have connection that makes me feel like I belong in Twilight. Even though, I know that if I gave up my apartment they would all still treat me like an Eccentric and welcome me as resident anyway.

Brenda

Brenda is a teacher, I don't know what she does for a living but I would be surprised if she isn't teaching. In fact, Brenda is a master teacher, wonderful person and a caring friend to pretty much any one she meets. I send every newbie I meet to her classes. That is how I met her, I took her newbie class. It is free (donations encouraged) and very relaxed. She has good advice and information. She leaves it an open format so you can ask questions about most anything in SL. She also has a very handy gift box that comes with the class. I think Brenda is an owner of Twilight, I believe she might have partners but we all look to here as the keystone that holds Twilight together. If Twilight were a monarchy Brenda would most definitely be the queen. I think she is reluctant to accept that title but I think we all look up to her with regards to Twilight.

Brenda is also a wonderful builder. She makes houses, jewelry and everything in between. There used to be cute little shops in the village of Twilight. She had the coolest stuff in her store. I hope she opens a store again there were things I wanted to buy.

I haven't really had much time to get to know Brenda, I included her in this part of the blog because her teaching and open helpful nature helped me get comfortable in SL and also helped me understand how I can help the other newbies I run across. I expect over time I will get to know her more.

Anais

Anais Atlantis is a woman, I met at Flashbacks Club Lounge. I used to go there to earn money camping dancing. I will always remember when I first saw Anais appear there. She isn't just another beautiful avatar. everything about her is beautiful and classy. The way she moves, the manor with which she chats. I know I had an instant crush on her. I think everyone in the lounge was smitten with her. I wanted to spend time to get to know her. Anais was kind enough to accept my offered friendship

I was so impressed with her, I wanted to learn everything I could from her. I new I was done with camping dancing, I was going to be a professional erotic dancer and an escort. I sent an instant message to Anais to ask for advice but I was such a newbie I only embarrassed myself. I felt so foolish that I never tried to talk to her again until I had become a successful as a dancer and escort.

I didn't actually run across Anais again until I posted an escort ad at Foxy Escorts. I was so focused on posting my ad up on the wall, that I didn't even notice Anais's ad until I backed away from the wall. It was next to mine four times the size of mine. Her picture was as beautiful as ever. When I read her info card and found that she was still as wonderful as I remembered her.

I finally contacted Anais to ask her permission to include a picture of her in this blog. She has been a very positive influence, as I grew my career in SL. I would think about the integrity, class and sophistication that Anais carried with her. I remembered the kindness she showed me and passed it on to every newbie that crossed my path and asked for help. I hope as time passes we may yet develop a wonderful friendship.

Lazlo

Lazlo Yoshikawa was the person that introduced me to SL. Therefore, it makes sense that he is the first friend I post about. (Except for my sexy neko girl friend, Lillith.) He must be the sweetest man I ever met. He truly cares about everybody and everything. I don't know how he does it.

Lazlo, Sent me an Email me to tell me about SL saying it was a place of infinite adventure. I have always trusted his judgement so I went to the website and signed up and Galen Heron was born, I guess that might make Lazlo my SL dad. Hehe, I wonder what he will think of that, if he reads this.

Lazlo is a developer, builder, poet, musician, computer geek and sweetheart. If you ever want a custom built house he would be my recommendation. If you feeling down and need someone to listen to you he would be good at that too. He is about the best male friend a woman could have. No matter what I have asked of him he has always been there for me and he has never asked for anything in return. When I offer he always says something like. "Your smile is all the reward I could ask for." I know it is kind of mushy but he is really like that. I have known him for a long time. I will always be grateful that he introduced me to SL If you ever bump into him in SL take the time to say "hello" and ask him how he is doing. I bet he will say "Great, how about you?".